Pregnant: You stinking quack!
Su Xiaoman watched helplessly as the man in front of her swallowed everything in his mouth in one gulp, then anxiously circled around her.
You silly dog, you didn’t spit out the seeds!!!!!
“You swallowed all of it? You forgot to spit out the seeds.” Su Xiaoman looked at him with great concern.
“Manman… y-you, what did you just say?” Xie Mingtu did not dare ask the rest of the question. He could not believe what he had just heard. Could Manman possibly be pregnant?
Although Xie Mingtu had previously joked with Su Xiaoman about “having one,” every time he was with her, he had honestly taken precautions. The only time they had missed it was that night in Qiaoxin Village.
Seeing him so excited, Su Xiaoman felt a little worried that she had told him too early, afraid he would be happy for nothing. She herself still was not certain.
She placed a hand over her lower abdomen. It was because of the teasing when Xie Mingtu went grocery shopping that day that Su Xiaoman had started paying attention to the matter of children. In addition, her monthly period had been delayed until now and still had not come.
Su Xiaoman’s cycle was usually very regular. It rarely came late. At first, she had thought maybe it was delayed because they had arrived in the capital and changed environment. But by today, she had started having a stranger and stranger feeling.
Just now, after buying tanghulu, when she was with Xiao Ding, she had only eaten one skewer before suddenly remembering that pregnant women were not very suited to eating too much tanghulu. She immediately began counting the days, recalling the recent changes in her body, and started to worry.
Even though it was only suspicion, she had not continued eating.
“Don’t be too happy yet. It hasn’t been confirmed. What if it’s just a misunderstanding?” Su Xiaoman was genuinely afraid it would turn out to be a false alarm. After all, between the two of them, there had only been that one time when they had truly not used protection.
But that one time, this stinky dog had been especially excessive. She did not even know how many times he had done it. Could she really have conceived just from that one time?
One shot to the soul?
At least five or six shots… Later, she had been dazed and muddled, and had not counted clearly. Only that stinky dog himself knew.
Xie Mingtu hugged Su Xiaoman excitedly. It took him quite a while to calm down.
“Manman, do you want to keep this child?”
They were not in a rush to have children right now. Manman had only just entered the song-and-dance troupe. If she became pregnant, she would no longer be suited to going on stage…
“If there really is one, then we’ll keep it.” Su Xiaoman lowered her head and smiled gently. She thought that if a child had come from that one time, and on that particular day, then this child had quite a deep fate with them. Naturally, they should keep it.
The song-and-dance troupe she was in now was a state-owned work unit. If she was pregnant, she would probably be assigned to an easier logistics post. It would only mean lower wages and fewer performance allowances, but that was not a big issue.
Xie Mingtu happily hugged his beloved Manman in front of him. He was so excited that he wanted to hold Su Xiaoman and spin her around, but he did not dare do such a dangerous thing.
He said solemnly, “Manman, I’ll take good care of you and the child.”
Su Xiaoman laughed. “It hasn’t even been confirmed yet.”
“What if it turns out to be a misunderstanding?”
Xie Mingtu hugged her and kissed her. “If this time is a misunderstanding, we’ll still have children in the future. I’ll take good care of Manman and our children.”
Su Xiaoman nodded and leaned against his chest.
A few more days passed, and Su Xiaoman became more and more certain that she might be pregnant. There were subtle changes in her body, and a faint strange feeling in her lower abdomen. Sometimes she felt she really was pregnant, and sometimes she worried it was all psychological.
Xie Mingtu accompanied her to the hospital. Fortunately, this was the capital, and they had the best and most scientific pregnancy testing methods. They did not have to wait anxiously for long.
Before long, the result came out.
She was indeed more than one month pregnant.
Su Xiaoman gained herself a newly appointed foolish father, Xie Gouzi. This foolish dog immediately performed eighty-eight consecutive somersaults in the hutong outside the hospital, attracting the gazes of countless passers-by. Su Xiaoman only wanted to pretend she did not know him.
“Kung… fu?” a foreigner said in clumsy Chinese.
Su Xiaoman: “…”
If he did not fly planes in the future, their Brother Gouzi could join an acrobatics troupe to support the family.
After finishing his somersaults, the man, whose face was rosy and whose heart was not panicked and breath not short, happily ran back to her side. His mouth kept calling Manman this and Manman that as he circled around her. Such a tall man of over 1.8 metres had somehow turned himself into a complete fool.
Foolish father.
He was this happy to become a father for the first time.
Like a hyperactive child.
If a director saw him, they might ask him to play a monkey.
Su Xiaoman took his arm. “Let’s go. We’re going home.”
If they did not leave, who knew how many more people they would attract? Those who knew would understand that he was a newly appointed foolish father. Those who did not might think they were performing on the street.
Su Xiaoman naturally touched her lower abdomen. She was not showing yet and could not feel the child’s existence, but as soon as she thought of a little one secretly growing inside, she herself also felt unbelievably excited.
This was her and Xie Mingtu’s child. She was carrying the child of the person she loved.
She was going to be a mother.
Xie Mingtu gently placed his hand on her waist, protecting her, and the two walked home. It was already early spring, but the weather was still very cold. Su Xiaoman was circled in his arms and could not feel the raging cold wind at all.
When the two reached the courtyard gate, they ran into Auntie Zhang from the neighbouring courtyard. Auntie Zhang smiled and greeted them.
“You two must have run into some great happy event, eh? Smiling so sweetly.”
Su Xiaoman nodded. “Auntie, there really is a great happy event.”
The couple smiled but did not say much. They walked sweetly and intimately into their home. Once the courtyard gate was closed, whatever intimacy they wanted to have was no one else’s business.
Su Xiaoman entered the room and was just thinking of being affectionate with the beloved man beside her, but who would have thought there was not even a kiss between them before this fellow ran out into the courtyard like a released wild horse to practise boxing and flip somersaults.
He had nowhere to vent all his endless energy.
He really was too happy, too happy, too happy!!!!!
Su Xiaoman: “…”
Not even a kiss?
Su Xiaoman propped her chin on her hand, moved over a small stool with a cold expression, and watched him practise boxing and flip somersaults.
Heh. So this was a newly appointed foolish father?
Indeed, foolish enough.
Could there be anyone sillier than this?
She worriedly touched her lower abdomen, thinking it would be better to give birth to a daughter. If it was a son and he turned out exactly like his father, then their home would become an acrobatics troupe.
In the neighbouring courtyard, Apron Auntie Zhang watched the seemingly deeply loving couple next door return to their courtyard, then turned and went back into the communal courtyard. Before long, the people in the communal courtyard curiously asked her what she had seen.
“The Chen couple had another quarrel today.”
Someone shook their head and whispered, “His wife got angry and ran back to her maiden family.”
“These young couples…”
“They just don’t know how to cherish feelings. Wouldn’t it be better if each side took a step back? When they reach our age, they’ll understand.”
“Eh, Auntie Zhang, did you see that young couple who moved in next door?”
“That young couple has been loving and affectionate for quite a few days now. The man is handsome, the woman is beautiful, and we’ve never heard them quarrel.”
“Their days are really prosperous and lively. For several days, we could smell meat fragrance drifting over. That must have been from their house, right?”
“That young man really dotes on his pretty wife.”
Auntie Zhang shook her head and walked home. Thinking of the loving couple she had just seen, she still found it unbelievable. After that young couple moved in, she truly had never seen the two of them bicker.
Her husband smoked and laughed. “See? I told you that you misjudged them. I think this young couple is doing very well. They’ll definitely love each other until their hair turns white.”
Auntie Zhang gave two dry laughs. “That may not be so. When young people marry, how could there be no friction? Have you forgotten when we were young? Who didn’t have a small quarrel every two days and a big quarrel every three? Husband and wife quarrel at the head of the bed and make up at the foot of the bed. How can they not argue while adjusting to each other? If they don’t quarrel, they aren’t a real couple.”
At this point, Auntie Zhang shivered and suddenly thought of a possibility. She lowered her voice and said, “Do you think the two of them might not be a real couple?”
“How is that possible? They’re clearly a loving married couple. Just wait and see. Before long, she’ll be carrying a child.”
“The Chen couple really should learn more from the Xie couple. They’re both young couples, so why do those two quarrel endlessly all day long?”
Auntie Zhang pursed her lips and shook her head. Mentioning the Chen couple gave her a headache. Those two quarrelled in the courtyard all the time, and it hurt people’s ears.
Still, listening to young couples quarrel was also a kind of spice in life.
The man exhaled smoke. “Is next door cooking meat again today?”
It was not only the constantly quarrelling Chen couple who made people feel uncomfortable. The Xie couple next door also made life difficult in another way.
Their family’s food smelled too good. When it was mealtime, the cold wind would blow that fragrance straight into their noses. Fortunately, it was winter now and everyone’s windows were tightly shut. If it were summer and they ate in the courtyard, smelling that food would be pure torment.
“I don’t know. Their family has been eating meat for so many days. It should be finished by now.”
“No family should eat meat like that!”
…
Su Xiaoman cooked mutton soup one more time. After this pot of soup was finished, the ten-plus jin of mutton from before could finally be considered eaten up. Previously, she had divided it into many batches to cook. After all, this stuff could not be eaten every day. If they ate it too often, she was afraid Comrade Xiaotu would become even more overheated.
“Manman, what else do you want to eat?”
“Just the same as before.” She was only a little over a month pregnant. Su Xiaoman felt she had no particular reaction yet and did not need excessive care. Yet Xie Mingtu watched her extremely closely. Even the books he borrowed from the city library had turned into Pregnancy Precautions, Pregnancy Essentials, Internal Medicine, The Yellow Emperor’s Inner Classic, Shennong’s Classic of Materia Medica, Plain Questions, XX Medical Cases, Old Chinese Doctor XXXXX…
Su Xiaoman: “??!!!” The Yellow Emperor’s Inner Classic?!
Su Xiaoman felt the books he was reading were becoming increasingly ridiculous. Apart from various aerospace-related books, the books in their home now consisted of all kinds of Western and Chinese medical works. Xie Gouzi, with his ability to remember everything he saw, was taking care of her while burying himself in study.
Many Years of Experience from a Midwife…
Treatise on Cold Damage and Miscellaneous Diseases
Obstetrics and Gynaecology
…
Xie Mingtu found students from the medical university and bought a complete set of related medical textbooks, along with all kinds of Chinese and Western medicine works.
“There’s really no need for you to read these!”
It would have been one thing if he only read a pregnancy care guide. But what was he reading all this for? Was he planning to change careers and become a doctor? Unfortunately, relying on his photographic memory, Xie Mingtu began studying day and night, forgetting sleep and food.
Su Xiaoman: “Even if you study it, it’s just armchair strategy.”
Did he think studying medicine was that easy?
Su Xiaoman was very panicked. Seeing him read these books, she felt that he did not only want to be a good father who took care of his pregnant wife. Could this fellow be planning to personally deliver her baby?
…
Su Xiaoman would rather he went back to practising boxing and flipping somersaults at home every day like before.
“It’s fine, Manman. I’ll memorise some of it. It may be useful.”
Seeing that she could not stop him, Su Xiaoman had no choice but to let him continue reading. But Xie Mingtu was also right. In any case, reading and memorising these books would not do any harm.
What left Su Xiaoman most speechless was that after reading for a few days, he really went to visit an old Chinese medicine doctor. Since the man was an old Chinese medicine doctor, naturally he liked Xie Mingtu very much when he saw him. He even gave him a few pointers and taught him how to distinguish pulses.
After coming back, Xie Mingtu was very happy. He said he wanted to personally take her joyous pulse.
Su Xiaoman: “…”
Get lost!
But she still helplessly smiled and allowed this Xie Gouzi to feel her pulse. This fellow was even more barefoot than a barefoot doctor. Completely unreliable. Su Xiaoman felt he was extremely unreliable. In any case, when one’s own loved one became a doctor, his medical skills just felt untrustworthy.
“Manman, it’s a joyous pulse!!”
“I’m going to be a father!!”
Su Xiaoman lightly slapped his face. The hospital had already given them the result. Did they need him to say it?!
You stinky quack doctor!
You were supposed to properly learn aerospace engineering and build planes, yet halfway through, you went and read extracurricular books — medical books.
Other expectant fathers listened to foetal movements to interact with their little babies, but this Xie Mingtu said he had to feel her pulse every day, as if he needed to take her daily peace pulse.
Sensing the child’s existence through her pulse — Su Xiaoman truly did not know how to complain about it. Was this the romance of traditional Chinese medicine?
The child in her belly was not even showing yet, and the father could not wait for foetal movement, so he had to sense the child’s… pulse in advance?
Su Xiaoman propped her chin on her hand, thinking that this pregnancy life was truly rich, colourful, and full of flavour. Was this a treatment only pregnant women from old Chinese medicine families could experience?
No, there was another answer.
That night, Su Xiaoman had a dream. She dreamed of Noble Consort Su and her Imperial Physician Xie. Noble Consort Su was pregnant, and the handsome Imperial Physician Xie came every day to take her pulse. While taking her pulse, he intimately touched her little hand. Of course, Noble Consort Su’s child naturally did not belong to the emperor, but to Imperial Physician Xie before her.
Noble Consort Su and her Imperial Physician Xie plotted to get the child a capital household registration. The child she gave birth to became the crown prince. Not long after, Imperial Physician Xie killed the emperor, the crown prince ascended the throne, and Noble Consort Su upgraded into Empress Dowager Su, ruling from behind the curtain.
There was no helping it. Empress Dowager Su was too lazy to manage affairs. Political power fell into the hands of the commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard. In the dream, Empress Dowager Su panicked and tried to make a carp-like leap to struggle, but when she looked up carefully, she discovered that this commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard seemed to be another identity of her child’s father. Fine, then she would continue lying down.
The days of being empress dowager were truly wonderful!!
The next morning, when Su Xiaoman woke up, she still lingered in the blankets, unwilling to wake from the dream. Being empress dowager had been truly amazing. She could even cuddle a cute little emperor. That little emperor looked just like a miniature Gouzi. Whenever she wanted, she could summon the imperial physician…
Unfortunately, a dream was ultimately only a dream. After waking, everything in the dream dissolved into emptiness. There was no more Imperial Physician Xie, and no more little emperor. The cute little cub from her dream was gone.
Although Su Xiaoman could no longer remember the dream person’s exact appearance, she clearly knew that the little cub had been extremely adorable!!
So after Su Xiaoman woke up, she sat on the kang feeling lost for quite a while.
…Her little emperor cub and handsome imperial physician were gone.
Xie Mingtu brought her a bowl of noodles. Seeing her looking like a little frost-bitten eggplant, he hurriedly asked gently, “Manman, what’s wrong? Did you not sleep well last night?”
Su Xiaoman shook her head, thinking that it was not that she had slept badly. Rather, she had slept too well and had a super beautiful dream.
“I had a dream.”
Xie Mingtu smiled and kissed the corner of her mouth, naturally touching her wrist. “What dream?”
Su Xiaoman’s face was a little red. “I’ve forgotten most of the plot anyway. It was just a particularly, particularly wonderful dream!”
Although Noble Consort Su still remembered the general plot of the dream after waking, such an embarrassing dream was something Su Xiaoman absolutely would not tell anyone else. Even if it was Comrade Xiaotu, she did not want to tell him.
In the dream, I was having an affair with you…
Too embarrassing. In reality, they were clearly husband and wife.
Xie Mingtu was curious. “Really? What did you dream about?”
Su Xiaoman thought for a moment and decided to use a selective, Spring-and-Autumn style of narration, picking out the parts that could be said. “I dreamed of you and our child. At the beginning of the dream, the two of us were very troubled.”
Xie Mingtu asked, “Why?”
Su Xiaoman said, “We had to get the child a capital household registration.”
Xie Mingtu: “…??! The child’s household registration?”
“Mm. Anyway, later it succeeded, and then both of us had successful careers…” Su Xiaoman vaguely mumbled through the ending of the dream.
“Really?” Xie Mingtu smiled. “Did Manman see me flying a plane in the dream?”
Su Xiaoman almost choked on her own saliva. “Mm, mm… more or less. In any case, you were especially handsome in my dream.”
“But we didn’t have a daughter. We had a son.”
Thinking of that tiny, adorable little Gouzi in the dream, Su Xiaoman felt a little greedy. She only regretted that the dream had been too short. Later, Empress Dowager Su had been eating and drinking and seemed to be showing signs of pregnancy again, but before her pulse could be taken, she had woken up.
If the dream had been a little longer, she might even have managed to get a delicate little padded jacket daughter. Su Xiaoman silently shed tears in her heart, thinking that she did not know when she would have such a good dream again. Anyway, dreams were all illusory; by the end of the dream, she could have everything she wanted!!!
“Manman…” After hearing her words, Xie Mingtu was startled. He nervously grabbed her wrist.
“Manman, I think I felt twin pulses.”
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