Return
Duan Xu lowered his eyes and murmured, “Nightmare?”
“Perhaps you might feel a bit sad now, but in just a few months, you’ll find peace. With General Duan Xu’s exceptional talent and youth, there isn’t a woman in the world he couldn’t marry. After you return to the mortal realm, if there are any disasters or difficulties, or if you need help in any way, just call my name, and I’ll come find you—though I won’t help you for free; you still have to trade with me for your five senses,” He Simu said with a faint smile and a gentle tone.
She used to speak to him with affectation, probing, threats, arrogance, and composure, but this was the first time her tone was so gentle. Not as the Ghost King or as a spell caster, but as someone who has received genuine affection and communicates with someone who reciprocates it.
Duan Xu looked up at her, gazing into her calm and gentle eyes, and asked, “Is the world of this evil spirit that you’ve shown me also part of a deal?”
“No, it’s gratitude. Because you’ve made me feel that the mortal world is much better than I expected, so this is my gratitude to you.”
“I heard that you personally went to the Nine Palaces Maze to save me. During the time I was unconscious, you stayed in my room, and if I called you, you would come and hold my hand.”
“No need to thank me, I brought you into the ghost realm; it’s what I should do.”
“I kissed you, hugged you, and you never really punished me. You know that there are many things I can do on my own, but whenever I ask you, you always soften.”
“You are indeed good at being spoiled and acting helpless.”
“Don’t avoid the real issue.”
“What issue am I avoiding?”
Duan Xu took a few steps forward, staring into her eyes at a breath’s distance, and slowly said, “Do you truly have no affection for me?”
He Simu looked into those bright eyes that she liked very much. His eyes held a layer of shimmering light, trembling slightly, containing startling emotions and desires, telling her that this was a crucial question for him.
In all the terrifying illusions, nightmares, or in front of enemies, he was always firm, confident, and arrogant, displaying a self-destructive toughness. But only in front of her, when he called her name, he seemed to offer his neck, exposing his belly like a wild beast.
He Simu still remembered when he finally woke up in the illusion, repeatedly calling her name. He said, “It’s great, He Simu is here to get me.”
His voice was weak yet resolute, as if He Simu had become a substitute for “Duan Xu,” a spell that awakened him in the midst of countless illusions.
On the day he ambushed the enemy camp, covered in blood and sitting paralyzed on the ground, reaching out to her, she sensed that he seemed to be yearning for something, but she didn’t understand the meaning of that yearning, nor did he at the time. Now she gradually realized that he wasn’t just reaching out to her; he was handing his heart to her.
That heart, fragmented and riddled with wounds, he picked up the pieces himself, piecing them together neatly, a heart with countless old scars beating fervently. He handed this heart to her.
From then on, whenever he looked into her eyes, it seemed to say, “You can easily hurt me, I’m entrusting this power to you.”
Jiang Ai once asked her, “You’re so good to him, why not agree to him? What are you afraid of?”
She barely realized it, but she was actually afraid. She was afraid that she couldn’t hold onto this heart, that it would slip from her hands and shatter to pieces on the ground, and this was almost inevitable.
This young man was the most special to her in the world, a unique mortal. She wanted to protect him from the sufferings of this world, to keep his heart from adding new scars. For a mortal, the best life was achieving success in studies, a blissful wedding night, a household full of children, and the fulfilment of ambitions, not entangling oneself with evil spirits.
She wanted to return this heart to him intact.
He Simu chuckled lightly and reached out to poke Duan Xu’s shoulder, pushing him away.
“You’re not within the scope of my consideration, and I don’t want to consider it either. After all, before long, I’ll even forget your name.”
Duan Xu’s eyes trembled, as if something had fallen to the ground, cracking open.
He Simu reached out to cover his eyes with her hand, and he didn’t resist, allowing her cold hand to cover his eyes.
In the darkness, Duan Xu heard He Simu say, “If you want to cry, then cry, but don’t cry in front of me. You’re the only person I’ve ever cast a spell on, and I hope all your wishes come true, but I’m the wish you can never fulfil. Remove me from your desires.”
She slowly lowered her hand from his eyes, and his eyes became very deep in colour, with a hint of watery shimmer. However, he didn’t cry, just kept his eyes open, staring at her without blinking.
She didn’t want to see him cry, so he didn’t shed tears.
He Simu’s hand brushed over his face and rested on his shoulder. She smiled brightly and said, “Hope you grow wings and become a fish of the North Sea.”
As she finished speaking, a thunderbolt sounded, her hand trembled slightly on his shoulder, then she withdrew it into her sleeve. She stepped back two paces, then turned around and left, her steps neither fast nor slow, her red dress brushing over the verdant grass, without looking back at him.
Duan Xu kept staring at her figure until it disappeared behind the mountain. Then he looked up at the gloomy sky and chuckled softly, “So she’s afraid of thunder.”
He understood her a little more.
But it was precisely at this moment.
Duan Xu bit his lip, his eyes red but no tears fell. He stood there silently for a long time. When the rain began to fall, he walked to the first grave mound planted with maple trees. He squatted down and looked at the mound, revealing a smile that could even be called bright, saying, “She’s really a jerk, isn’t she?”
Jiang Ai and Yan Ke watched from afar. Jiang Ai sighed, hugging her arms. “Assistant Minister has finally achieved his wish.”
“Just a mere mortal, I knew it would end up like this,” Yan Ke replied with a calm expression, subtly relieved. Everyone could see how He Simu was special to Duan Xu, and he was actually worried about it in secret.
Jiang Ai shook her head. “He’s not just a mere mortal; this child is different.”
She had asked him once, why he risked his life to help her when Bai Sanxing attacked her in the Nine Palaces Maze. The child smiled brightly and simply said he hadn’t expected Bai Sanxing to be so formidable. When pressed further, he admitted he felt closer to He Simu than her.
— “Simu is very lonely. You are her trusted ghost, and I hope you will always stay by her side.”
— “I also know that my life is short. I don’t know what I can give her in such a short life, but I want her to feel happiness in this world.”
— “Simu is a very stubborn girl. She inherits a backbone that cannot be broken from her parents. She has a warm heart and a noble spirit, and I really like her for that.”
The child even jokingly asked her if he was the first person to extinguish the Heart Candle and still come out of the Nine Palaces Maze alive. Jiang Ai told him he wasn’t; before him, there was another evil spirit who had extinguished his Heart Candle but still managed to escape the maze — He Simu.
Years ago, when He Simu ambushed Bai Sanxing in the Nine Palaces Maze, she destroyed Bai Sanxing’s Heart Candle, and her own Heart Candle was extinguished by Bai Sanxing. The two strongest evil spirits were lost in the maze, but three days later, He Simu emerged from the maze, relighting her Heart Candle, a true miracle.
While desire makes one rigid, evil spirits become evil spirits because of their deep attachments, thus they cannot break free from the illusions of the Nine Palaces Maze. But He Simu was different; she didn’t become a ghost from the desires of the living, but was born from the love between her parents.
The child she brought with her was similarly not trapped by the illusions; they were actually quite similar.
Jiang Ai couldn’t help but sigh. She remarked, “This child actually understands Simu very well.”
Yan Ke frowned, not agreeing. “What could he possibly understand?”
Jiang Ai deeply felt that it was impossible to communicate feelings with a jealous man. She changed the subject, pointing towards the direction of the Nine Palaces Maze.
“However, how could Bai Sanxing still exist? His Heart Candle has been extinguished; in the Nine Palaces Maze, it should have been consumed and vanished after a hundred years. How could he still be around after three hundred years?”
Yan Ke remained silent for a moment before saying, “It’s a simple matter, really, and there aren’t many answers.”
Jiang Ai knew what he meant. If Bai Sanxing hadn’t been extinguished for three hundred years, it meant his Heart Candle hadn’t been extinguished. He was probably like those evil spirits exiled to the outside of the Nine Palaces Maze, with his Heart Candle burning outside the maze.
“That’s quite rare. We all saw Simu extinguish his Heart Candle back then; how could there be another one burning outside?”
“I think it’s not entirely impossible. The Heart Candle of that mortal was reignited, wasn’t it? He was probably able to reignite it because he’s infatuated with Simu, and as for Bai Sanxing…” Yan Ke’s gaze turned towards Jiang Ai, making her uneasy.
“What do you mean by that?” Jiang Ai asked.
“Bai Sanxing likes you desperately, it’s common knowledge.”
“Pah, that’s ancient history. Before he entered the Nine Palaces Maze, he wanted nothing more than to tear me apart. You know that too. So why would I help him light his Heart Candle? I’m not crazy,” Jiang Ai spat.
Yan Ke remained noncommittal. “This matter is very suspicious and may bring trouble.”
Three days after He Simu and Duan Xu’s conversation among the graves, Duan Xu left Yuzhou City. He asked Jiang Ai to escort him to Nandu, leaving without a word, not even bidding farewell to He Simu. When Jiang Ai returned and informed He Simu about this, she only realized the situation when she saw He Simu’s surprised expression. “He didn’t tell you he was leaving?”
He Simu shook her head, pressing her temples. “What kind of gamble is he taking?”
She was about to continue with her official duties when Jiang Ai handed her a scroll from behind, saying, “This is a gift the child prepared for you. He asked me to pass it on to you.”
He Simu glanced at the scroll and accepted it, feeling its weight in her hand. “He said for you to take good care of it.”
After Jiang Ai said this, she bowed and took her leave. Her lively presence during the past half month had been quite something, and it was time to call it quits.
He Simu placed the scroll on her desk and continued to read through her documents. However, her gaze lingered on the scroll for a long time, unable to focus on her work. She clenched the papers tightly in her hand, occasionally glancing at the scroll. After half an hour of this deadlock, she sighed and put down the documents, reaching for the scroll on her desk.
She thought, she was just curious about what he could prepare for her as a gift.
She untied the string binding the scroll, and as it unfolded, a map of Yuzhou City lay before her, covering the entire table. The map was drawn with meticulous detail, depicting the streets and alleys, buildings of various sizes, with annotations by Duan Xu scattered throughout.
His handwriting was bold and unrestrained, squeezed together as if in grievance.
At the foot of Xusheng Mountain, a small lamp was drawn with a note beside it: “Here are firefly larvae, perfect for the midsummer glow, with hues of yellow-green, like translucent jade. There’s an old saying, ‘Rain can’t extinguish the lamp, wind only makes it brighter. If not from the sky, surely from the moon.’”
On Shuipaifang Street, a rose was drawn with a note: “There’s a cluster of roses by the wall, in the third month of the flowering season, with a strong fragrance that assaults the senses. The thorns can prick, and the colour of the flowers varies from deep to light red, like the dawn clouds. It is said, ‘In the deep courtyard behind the curtain, under the red rose and green banana tree.’”
He meticulously marked three or four dozen locations on this map, narrating Yuzhou City to her as if painting a vivid picture, describing colours, smells, and textures in detail, presenting her with a completely different world. It was as if he was preparing this for her to rediscover Yuzhou City after they exchanged senses one day.
He Simu’s fingers traced over the map, and she chuckled softly. “Truly worthy of a top scholar, using his talent for this, isn’t it a bit extravagant?”
Jiang Ai had told her that Duan Xu felt like Yuzhou City was a giant coffin. Yet, he was trying to find some vitality within this coffin to give to her.
He Simu’s gaze lowered, her thoughts drifting away with the map. She recalled the world she had initially experienced, remembering Duan Xu’s skin texture, the pulse of his heartbeat, the brush of his breath, and the scent on his body. Every sensation initially came from him.
And then there were his seemingly carefree smiles, his pale, sweaty face when he was sick, his bloodshot eyes when he endured pain.
How long could such vivid memories remain in her mind?
She wondered if he had shed tears after she left that day.
—”Do you really not have even a little bit of liking for me?”
Resting her chin on her hand, He Simu slowly closed the scroll and sighed. “Duan, little fox.”
Why bother with me so much?
**Nomad: I have a few things to sort out, not sure how long its going to take but until then I will be reducing the number of chapters released for CALID to 1 chapter a day. This will start from chapter 54.
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