Worship
Zhan Aiping ran five kilometers, practiced on the parallel bars, and went through several sets of martial arts routines. After working up a good sweat and feeling light as a feather, she couldn’t help but exclaim, “A young body is really something!”
“Teacher Zhan, you’re just joking. You’re still young,” Ye Fangjing replied politely, her eyes reflecting a hint of admiration.
Her words were exceptionally polite, and there was a certain level of reverence in her eyes.
She had followed Zhan Aiping to see what kind of tricks she would be up to, on the eve of her wedding. Would she really go to “practice martial arts”?
But who knew that she actually knew martial arts, and she had even treated a man who stood at least 1.8 meters tall. She effortlessly completed a five-kilometer run, and her performance on the parallel bars was astounding. Ye Fangjing had never seen a woman like this before.
She knew that Zhan Aiping was a former female soldier and a former military doctor. Yet she looked so elegant and beautiful that Ye Fangjing had assumed she was more of an “artsy” type. She never expected Zhan Aiping to be so skilled. She was incredibly impressive!
None of the male teachers at their school had Zhan Aiping’s level of physical fitness and abilities, let alone her teaching skills. As Ye Fangjing reflected, she couldn’t recall any male teacher who could match up to her.
Young, physically fit, attractive, highly educated, and skilled in medicine…
Honestly, if Zhan Aiping were a man, Ye Fangjing would want to marry “him”!
Previously, Ye Fangjing had felt jealous that Zhan Aiping had found such a good match, someone who could live in a big house. Now, she realized that Zhan Aiping herself was amazing.
She achieved things that ordinary people couldn’t. A person like her had nothing to fear from her in-laws. The jealousy in Ye Fangjing’s heart disappeared, leaving only admiration.
“Teacher Zhan, can you teach me a few moves next time?”
“If you want to learn, I’ll teach you.”
Ye Fangjing said, “Let’s go for a run at the sports field together sometime, and you can taste the breakfast I make.”
Zhan Aiping replied, “You can also try the steamed buns I make.”
“My family’s pickled vegetables…”
Zhan Aiping and Ye Fangjing exchanged a few more words, bid each other farewell, and went their separate ways. Zhan Aiping watched Ye Fangjing leave and then continued walking along the school’s perimeter wall. As she walked, she remembered the admiring look in Ye Fangjing’s eyes from earlier, and it made her both happy and amused.
In her previous life before her rebirth, her relationship with Ye Fangjing wasn’t good. Ye Fangjing always had a disdainful attitude, mocking her and saying that she had a nose instead of eyes. When Zhan Aiping had deliberately manipulated the man’s arm in front of her earlier, it had been a way to warn her to stay away. But unexpectedly, Ye Fangjing had been frightened and had started to admire her, thinking that she was amazing.
It had led her to show off on the parallel bars a couple of times. It was fortunate that she still had her youthful body and muscle memory from her past, or else her “old bones” wouldn’t have withstood the exertion.
A mischievous smile appeared in Zhan Aiping’s eyes as she glanced at the tall wall beside her. The wall was about three meters high, and inside the wall, there was a tree that had shed all its leaves, leaving only dry branches extending beyond the wall.
The more she looked at the wall, the more she felt an itch in her heart.
Now, whenever she saw a wall, she wanted to climb it. When she encountered obstacles, she wanted to overcome them. She even wanted to handle firearms and shoot targets… As these thoughts crossed her mind, Zhan Aiping’s body followed her heart’s desire, and she indeed did just that. She took three or four steps, broke into a run, and smoothly climbed up the wall, finally standing on top of it.
Zhan Aiping stood tall on the high wall and continued walking forward. The wall’s top was like the edge of a roof, sloping down on both sides. There was only a narrow foothold of less than seven centimeters in the middle. She stood on this narrow ledge, with the North wind howling by her side. She was at the same height as the tree, yet she didn’t feel the least bit afraid.
“Hey! Who is it?!!! Are you really fearless? You’re not afraid of breaking your legs from such a high wall?!!” An elderly man came running out from the security office, shouting.
“Which class are you from? This is unacceptable…”
Zhan Aiping made a snap decision and jumped down from the wall. She used her elbows to leverage herself against the wall and landed firmly on her feet. Then, she burst into laughter and ran forward. She ran onto the street, a typical scene in 1970s Shanghai, which hadn’t yet transformed into the bustling metropolis it would become. There weren’t many skyscrapers, and the streets were narrow. The roads were filled with black bicycles as far as the eye could see.
The sound of bicycle bells ringing incessantly was particularly sharp, and the noise of people of all ages playing and laughing was overwhelming. The era-appropriate propaganda posters displayed their vibrant colors amidst the dull winter light. Zhan Aiping looked back at the tall wall.
She truly felt a sense of youthful exuberance.
*
Zhan Aiping bought some steaming hot steamed buns and returned to the staff dormitory building. This dormitory building had four floors, situated outside the school grounds and separated by a wall. Going back and forth between classes required extra effort. Therefore, most of these rooms were assigned to new teachers.
The school had more male teachers than female teachers. Zhan Aiping’s room was just a small single room of twelve square meters, meant for one person. She considered herself lucky because some married teachers and their families squeezed into similarly small rooms. When village grandmothers came to take care of their grandchildren, the husbands had to go and squeeze into the student dormitories.
The stairwell between the two floors was quite narrow. At the corner where the stairs turned, there was a protruding public restroom with double red doors. Upon entering, there was a ten-square-meter space with three enclosed toilet stalls and a shower room on the left, while on the right, there were sinks arranged in the shape of the number “7” with six faucets.
During normal times, residents from both floors would gather in this area for various activities like using the restroom, washing up, washing vegetables, and even taking showers. The morning rush to brush teeth was so crowded that people could hardly find space. Washing clothes also required picking the right time to occupy one of the faucets.
The shower room was particularly cramped. Some people preferred to wait until late at night or when there were fewer people to carry a bucket of hot water and lock the double doors of the public restroom. Then they would enjoy a good hot water bath around the spacious sink area.
Of course, there were also times when things didn’t go well, such as just after undressing, someone would start knocking on the door outside, demanding to use the restroom.
Zhan Aiping’s room was located at the corner of the second floor. She took three or four steps to reach the second floor and started her relatively challenging “journey home.”
Due to the small living spaces, each family’s kitchen was placed in the hallway. Coal stoves, old desks, pots and pans, cutting boards, and knives crowded the already narrow corridor, allowing only one person to pass through at a time.
“Waaah!” The cries of a child became more distinct.
“Be a good girl, stop crying.”
“Mom, come and comfort her.”
The sound of a match being struck and the pungent smell of smoke emanated from a nearby spot. As Zhan Aiping passed by this family, a male teacher wrapped in a gray cotton coat emerged from the hallway, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He handed the child to his wife and daughter-in-law before stepping into the corridor, taking a breather.
“Oh, Teacher Zhan is back,” the male teacher, surnamed Chen, greeted upon seeing Zhan Aiping, though there was a hint of discomfort in his eyes.
Every time Chen Jiabao saw Zhan Aiping, he felt uncomfortable because this woman made him feel a strong sense of crisis. Both he and Zhan Aiping were new teachers who had only been there for a couple of years. Zhan Aiping was exceptionally talented, even though she had recently graduated, and she had seamlessly transitioned from working in a hospital to teaching at the school.
She excelled in everything she did, performed well in her classes, and the students liked her. He had attended one of her classes today, and it left him sweating profusely. Why was Zhan Aiping progressing so rapidly? This woman was truly terrifying.
He feared that future promotion opportunities might fall into her lap.
“Teacher Zhan has been busy with wedding preparations lately. Still, she should focus on her teaching work and intensify her studies. After you get married and have children, you’ll be even busier. Of course, taking care of the family is more important for women. When both husband and wife work, who will take care of the children? A woman looking after the family is also for the sake of the children,” they lived close to each other, so Chen Jiabao naturally knew about Zhan’s situation. He knew she was getting married, and her fiancé’s family had a big house, so she wouldn’t need to squeeze into these small “pavilion rooms.”
He envied women for being able to “marry and change their fate,” while secretly hoping that Zhan Aiping’s in-laws would treat her well.
Zhan Aiping wasn’t a well-behaved woman. Good women should have less demanding, leisurely jobs and, later, focus on taking care of the family and raising children. Why would she compete with men?
Zhan Aiping reached out, took the cigarette from his hand, and unceremoniously extinguished it. She said with indifference, “With young children at home, it’s better for Teacher Chen to quit smoking. The smell can be irritating.”
She glanced at him askance and warned him with her eyes: “Mind your own business.”
Chen Jiabao couldn’t help but take a step back. Zhan Aiping walked past him, opened her own door with her keys, and disappeared from his sight.
Chen Jiabao swallowed hard, and then he realized what he had done. His face turned red with embarrassment. He couldn’t believe he was afraid of a woman, and he couldn’t even speak after she gave him a stern look. She had even taken his cigarette.
This wounded his male pride. Chen Jiabao went inside his home, and he bossed his wife around to pour him some water. He took the glass but scolded her immediately when it burned his mouth. “Are you trying to scald me?”
After venting his anger, he thought back to Zhan Aiping’s earlier encounter. Chen Jiabao was infuriated. “A woman like her, whoever marries her will be unlucky. I want to see her kneeling at the He family’s door!”
Zhan Aiping’s room was very clean and tidy. Even after leaving the army, she maintained her military discipline. There were only a bed, a wardrobe, a table, and a stool in her room. Her belongings were minimal, and everything was neatly arranged, making her small room look spacious and bright.
When she lived alone, it was fine, but now her stepmother, Zhu Jiaorong, and her stepsister, Zhan Aijia, had moved in. The room had become somewhat cluttered with many added items. They had partitioned the room with dividers, creating two beds. They had assembled a simple hard bed using wooden boxes and quilts, and Zhan Aiping slept on that hard bed while letting her stepmother and stepsister sleep in her original bed.
The mother and daughter didn’t find it cluttered at all. They even said, “It’s too lonely for you to live alone. We’re tidying it up for you, making it warm and cozy, giving it a homely feel.”
When Zhan Aiping entered the room, Zhu Jiaorong and her daughter were also present. As soon as they heard Zhan Aiping had returned, Zhu Jiaorong was busy cleaning and instructing her daughter, “Your sister is back. Why don’t you pour her a glass of water?”
Despite the fact that it was Zhan Aiping’s room, this mother and daughter duo acted as if they were the “hosts.”
Disgust filled Zhan Aiping’s eyes as she remembered the past. In her previous life, she had already been seventy-three years old, and this mother-daughter duo had long turned into dust. However, the memories of the things they had done were still like a thorn in her throat.
When she was in her twenties, she hadn’t seen the true nature of this mother and daughter.
Zhan Aiping’s biological mother was a military officer, a martyr who had sacrificed her life when Zhan Aiping was twelve years old. Her younger brother, Zhan Mingzhao, was only six at the time. Their father had quickly remarried, choosing the very diligent and housekeeping Zhu Jiaorong as his second wife. Zhu Jiaorong was also a remarried woman, bringing along her daughter from her previous marriage, Xue Jiajia, who was now renamed Zhan Aijia. Soon after, she gave birth to a son, Zhan Mingkang.
Zhu Jiaorong was extremely diligent, skilled in cooking, washing, and housework. She treated their father as her everything, making sure he had hot meals and tea ready when he came home. In the eyes of outsiders, Zhu Jiaorong was a qualified good woman, wife, and stepmother.
Zhan Aiping also believed that Zhu Jiaorong was a good woman because she was particularly skilled at putting on a facade in front of her. At that time, Zhan Aiping was already older, excelling academically, studying and attending school in the provincial capital, and later joining the military academy. She only came home once or twice a year, and Zhu Jiaorong was always warm and welcoming towards her. Zhan Aiping didn’t see anything wrong with her.
However, her younger brother, Zhan Mingzhao, began to develop a strange personality. He became timid, fearful, and introverted, not speaking much and disliking reading. His academic performance was poor, and the relationship between the siblings deteriorated significantly.
Her brother rejected her military career and had a strong aversion to soldiers.
On the other hand, Zhan Aiping couldn’t stand his timid and withdrawn demeanor. She had always been the elder sister, excelling academically. How could her own younger brother be like this?
As a result, the conflicts between the siblings grew increasingly worse.
During that time, Zhan Aiping had no idea about the kind of life her brother was leading in the Zhan family. Her stepmother, Zhu Jiaorong, didn’t mistreat him and ensured he had good food and clothing. She was very polite to him but kept him excluded from the Zhan family.
Zhan Dad, Zhu Jiaorong, Zhan Aijia, and Zhan Mingkang were a happy family of four. Her brother, on the other hand, despite being part of the family, felt like an outsider in their daily life. He lived as if he were “living under someone else’s roof,” with his only real sister not around.
Zhu Jiaorong and her daughter openly and subtly manipulated the relationship between Zhan Aiping and her brother. They would report her brother’s behavior to Zhan Aiping, insinuating that he was timid and had a strange temper. They deliberately allowed her brother to overhear things he shouldn’t have, such as saying, “Women should be virtuous. Men go to battle, so what business does a woman have joining the military? They should take good care of their families instead.”
“If Mingzhao’s mother weren’t so ambitious, she would have a happy family of four. What does she care about my affairs?”
“Isn’t there a saying? Yes, ‘A hen should crow at dawn.’ Why would a female chicken go crowing? It goes against nature and the natural order.”
“We women should focus on taking care of our homes, so when men and children come back, they can have a warm meal. It’s more important than anything else…”
These words planted seeds in Zhan Mingzhao’s heart.
When Zhan Aiping was on leave, feeling emotionally down due to a failed surgery, she and her brother had a big argument. Even her own brother criticized her for being too competitive and not prioritizing family. He questioned her femininity and masculinity. During their argument, they even discussed their mother, who was a hero and a martyr but not necessarily a good mother.
In the compound, many families of male soldiers didn’t work outside but instead managed the household and looked after their children.
For young children, their world was quite limited, and they envied those who had their own mothers to care for them, scold them, and be there every day.
…
After their big argument, Zhan Mingzhao voluntarily went to the countryside to be a “rusticated youth” last year, while Zhan Aiping transitioned to a staff position at the school.
It was necessary for someone from their family to go to the countryside. Both Zhan Mingzhao and Zhan Aijia were suitable candidates. Zhan Mingzhao left, allowing Zhan Aijia to stay in the city.
In Zhan Mingzhao’s third year as a “rusticated youth” in Yunnan Province, Zhan Aiping received the news of his death. He had tragically passed away in a fight between rusticated youth.
Her brother’s death weighed heavily on her mind, becoming a lasting emotional burden. It made her question her own choices and whether she should have been the good sister her brother had hoped for, or even the role of a good mother.
Leave a Reply