“Oh no, am I going to die? I don’t want to turn into a zombie, wuwuwu… Is it too late to turn on the gas? Should I just drink the diesel fuel? At that moment, countless thoughts flashed through Jiang Miaomiao’s mind as she weighed what method would make her die quickly and without pain. Suddenly, Lu Qiming walked out.
She quickly grabbed him. “What are you doing? There are zombies downstairs!”
“Let’s see what’s going on first,” Lu Qiming replied.
He approached the stairs and peeked down.
Jiang Miaomiao couldn’t stay alone in the room, so she followed him outside. In the living room, Golden Half-Butt was wandering, looking for its enemy.
Lu Qiming whispered, “There’s only one…”
“One isn’t enough? How many do you want?” Jiang Miaomiao said in panic.
Lu Qiming suddenly untied the bedsheet.
“What are you going to do?” Jiang Miaomiao asked.
“Hold it down,” he said.
“What? Are you crazy!” She couldn’t help raising her voice but quickly lowered it, afraid of being heard by Golden Half-Butt. “How can you catch it? Look at its hands, it can still move even in that state. It’s a monster that feels no pain. Don’t go and get yourself killed!”
“Who said I’m going?” Lu Qiming poked her shoulder mischievously. “I’m tired, you go.”
Jiang Miaomiao pursed her lips and turned to leave.
He reached out and pulled her back. “You don’t have to do much. See those stairs? Stand there and shout at it.”
She twitched her mouth. “Shout at it? Do you think I’m a character from a martial arts novel?”
“Just listen to me. If I can’t catch it, I’ll chop my head off and give it to you as a stool.”
Jiang Miaomiao rolled her eyes and said, “I don’t want your stinking head. Let go.”
“Really not going? It will be here in three minutes at most.”
“Let it come then.”
Three minutes would be enough for her to poison herself by drinking the diesel fuel.
She pushed his hand away and turned to walk back to the room.
Just then, she heard Lu Qiming apologize softly from behind. Then, he suddenly flew up, carrying her horizontally, and threw her onto the stairs.
She landed on her butt and felt the pain. She wanted to run back and fight him, but then she caught a glimpse of Golden Half-Butt. She gritted her teeth and shouted at it.
“Golden Half-Butt!”
Of course, Golden Half-Butt wouldn’t respond, but after spotting her, it extended its arm with the chair leg pierced through it and ran towards her.
He was an agile fat man, running faster than a dog. In the blink of an eye, he arrived at the bottom of the stairs.
Jiang Miaomiao couldn’t outrun him at all and thought she was done for. But she saw the bedsheet floating down, perfectly covering Golden Half-Butt. Lu Qiming flew down like a giant bird, completely naked, and tackled it to the ground.
“Find a rope!” He shouted with all his strength, holding down Golden Half-Butt.
Jiang Miaomiao didn’t have the energy to think about anything else. She followed his instructions and rushed into the basement to find a rope.
She couldn’t find a rope, only a plastic skipping rope that she had prepared for exercise and passing the time. Holding the skipping rope, she returned to the living room where Golden Half-Butt’s strength was overwhelming Lu Qiming, and he was struggling to hold it down.
“Here!” Jiang Miaomiao handed the skipping rope to Lu Qiming. He quickly tied it around Golden Half-Butt’s body. Originally, the skipping rope was only 2.8 meters long, but he managed to tie it into a four or five-meter long makeshift restraint.
Once he made sure Golden Half-Butt’s head was covered by the bedsheet, and its limbs were bound and immobilized, he wrapped the skipping rope around it again and tied a tight knot.
Exhausted and covered in sweat, Lu Qiming collapsed on the floor.
Jiang Miaomiao looked at the open door and the zombies in the yard. She hurriedly ran over, closed the door, and stacked furniture to block it.
After finishing this, she was almost out of breath. But there was one more important thing to do—she ran to Lu Qiming and started berating him.
“You jerk! Bastard! How could you throw me down there?”
Fortunately, she wasn’t bitten; otherwise, she’d be a zombie by now!
Lu Qiming was completely out of strength, weakly holding her hand.
“Stop hitting, you can’t hurt me anyway.”
He had a point.
She picked up a chair as a weapon. “Can’t hurt you? What about this?”
Lu Qiming rolled over, got up, and explained, “I threw you down only because I was sure you’d be fine. If I wasn’t confident, I wouldn’t have done it.”
“Don’t give me any excuses.”
“It’s not an excuse, really, I swear! If I lie, let me be eaten by zombies until there’s nothing left, okay?”
Hearing him swear so seriously, Jiang Miaomiao hesitated for a moment.
In that one or two seconds, she accidentally caught a glimpse of his thing hanging down, shocked, she quickly turned her face away.
“Aren’t you going to get dressed quickly?”
Lu Qiming narrowly avoided a crisis, ran back upstairs, put on the already dried flower-printed shorts, washed his face, and then came downstairs.
Golden Half-Butt’s head was completely wrapped in the bedsheet, unable to see or hear anything, lying on the floor, wriggling like a big fat worm.
Jiang Miaomiao stood beside it, feeling helpless. When she saw Lu Qiming come down, she said, “Quick, throw it out.”
Lu Qiming opened a bottle of cola, leaned against the table, and drank with his head tilted back.
“Why throw it out? Let’s keep it.”
“Keep it to feed you?” She didn’t want to stay in the same room with zombies, constantly living in fear every second.
Lu Qiming closed the bottle cap and winked at her.
“Keeping it has a great purpose.”
He went to look for tools again, found a roll of transparent tape, and tied a few more rounds around Golden Half-Butt, securing the makeshift restraint further. Then, he kicked open the door to the utility room behind the kitchen, threw it in, and locked the door.
Jiang Miaomiao couldn’t figure out why he insisted on keeping a zombie in the house. What if it suddenly came out one day and started biting people?
Wait, he had been fighting them so closely just now. Was he hurt?
Lu Qiming noticed her inquiring gaze and immediately crouched down on the floor, wailing.
“My body hurts.”
“Ah? Where did it bite you?”
Was there still time to throw it out now?
“Here.”
He extended his hand.
Jiang Miaomiao held it, looking left and right. “No wounds.”
“You were hit by the chair; of course, there are no external wounds, but it might be internal injuries.”
Only then did she realize it, got up, and kicked him.
“You deserved it.”
After saying that, she sat back on the chair.
Lu Qiming squatted on the floor, pretending to be pitiful.
“My head hurts. Do you think I have a concussion?”
“I’m so hungry; I wonder if anyone would be willing to cook me a bowl of noodles.”
“Ah, it’s hard to be a person, even harder to be a man. I did so much, yet I’m still being despised.”
Jiang Miaomiao couldn’t stand it anymore, and stood up fiercely, threatening him with malice.
“If you say one more word, I’ll end both of us!”
Lu Qiming wisely shut up and made a zipper motion across his lips. He then looked at her with a pair of innocent eyes.
Expressionless, Jiang Miaomiao went upstairs, entered the bedroom, and locked the door.
After the recent struggle, she was exhausted and sweating all over. She poured half a basin of cold water in the bathroom, wiped herself with a towel, and then crawled into the bed, closing her eyes to sleep.
After an unknown amount of time, Lu Qiming knocked on the door.
“I made ham sausage fried rice. Come out and have some.”
Jiang Miaomiao opened her eyes, feeling a bit teary.
He was so annoying; the way he talked made her wish she could stuff feces into his mouth. But sometimes, he was quite nice to her.
How could there be such a vexing guy in the world? It’s a pity that the original author didn’t make him the protagonist.
She kept quiet, and Lu Qiming went downstairs. Shortly afterward, he came back.
“Can I come in? I brought your meal. Eat first, then go back to sleep.”
Jiang Miaomiao tiptoed over and unlocked the door, then sneaked back into the bed, pretending to be indifferent. “Come in.”
Lu Qiming opened the door, holding the fried rice, with a very gentle expression.
“You were tired during the day, you need to replenish your energy. Don’t starve yourself, get up and eat.”
She snorted coldly and turned her face away, refusing to look at him.
“I won’t eat the food you cooked. I don’t deserve such kindness as this wicked woman.”
“Come on, have some, I made it for you. I’d feel bad if you don’t eat it.”
Lu Qiming coaxed softly, even offering to feed her. He was giving her plenty of room to step down. Reluctantly, Jiang Miaomiao sat up and ate the egg fried rice he made.
It had to be said that his fried rice was excellent. Even with the same ingredients, the fried rice he made was more fragrant than hers.
Lu Qiming sat beside her, watching her eat, and even poured water for her to drink. It was like he was acting like a little wife, reminding her from time to time.
“Take your time, don’t choke.”
Jiang Miaomiao remained expressionless, but she was incredibly surprised in her heart.
Could it be that hitting him had changed him so much?
Violence actually worked.
While eating, Lu Qiming started dropping subtle hints.
“Is this food delicious?”
“Mmm.”
“Am I good to you?”
“Okay.”
“We are each other’s only friends, right? And we share life and death together. If I get sick, it won’t be good if I infect you too.”
She looked up vigilantly, a grain of rice sticking to the corner of her mouth.
“What are you trying to say?”
Lu Qiming helped her remove the rice grain and sighed.
“My bedsheet was used by Jin Bantui, and the summer quilt is also dirty. These nights are quite cold, and we can’t use the air conditioner. Can you… give me a separate quilt?”
Jiang Miaomiao hadn’t thought there would be another person living here, so she didn’t prepare many quilts. Apart from the ones she gave him, there were only two left for her to use.
One for the mattress, one for covering, and none for changing.
If there’s only one left… it would be so cold at night.
She immediately refused, “No way.”
“I knew you wouldn’t agree. It’s indeed too cold to sleep with just one quilt. How about this: we sleep together, and I promise not to touch…”
Before he could finish his sentence, Jiang Miaomiao interrupted.
“Pervert!”
Lu Qiming had spoken so kindly and nicely, but all he got was this evaluation, which made him a bit unhappy.
“Who would be a pervert with a tablet?”
Tablet… Jiang Miaomiao covered her chest, feeling so angry that her vision darkened, and she slapped the unfinished fried rice onto his face.
“Get out!”
Lu Qiming turned and left.
She was still not full, but now she was fed up. Wrapped in the warm quilt, she continued to sleep.
Late at night, the cold air quietly struck.
Jiang Miaomiao got up to use the restroom, but she found that the person next door seemed not to have entered the room to sleep.
Had she scared him away?
She tiptoed out and saw the man in the living room, starting a fire in an iron bucket, crouching next to it with his back exposed, looking pitiful.
He had no clothes and no quilt.
He cooked food for her.
Jiang Miaomiao’s heart softened. She called him and walked into the room without closing the door.
Lu Qiming soon came in and stood in the darkness, saying, “I’ll just sleep in a small space.”
She didn’t say anything, but she moved aside a bit.
“Thank you.”
He lifted the quilt and got in, exhaling cold air.
Due to his considerable weight, the mattress noticeably sank under him. Such a pig… Jiang Miaomiao silently complained in her mind. Accidentally touching his arm, she found it as cold as ice, so she quietly kicked the quilt toward his side.
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