When she got up to leave, Fei Ni remembered that she had not yet taught Fang Muyang how to wash clothes. She watched him do the laundry, telling him how to wash without wasting soap. He had no patience for it. After wringing the clothes a few times, he said they were clean. Fei Ni said no, that was not how clothes were washed. She picked up the clothes and demonstrated for him, then told Fang Muyang to copy her.
“I don’t know how. You wash them for me.”
“Dream on! I don’t owe you anything.” She had never even washed her own parents’ clothes, yet these days she had taken better care of him than she had of her own family. She had cared for him for more than half a year and put all her savings into it, only to end up with the “opportunity” to marry him.
She had tried so hard to make progress, only for it to backfire. Doing good deeds halfway was worse than not doing them at all. She had cared for him until he woke up and then left; people would only decide that she was a failed opportunist. But how could she marry him? A man who could not even wash his own clothes…
At this thought, Fei Ni unexpectedly began to cry. Her tears fell with soft plops into the basin, mixing with the water that had soaked the clothes. She picked up the clothes and scrubbed them fiercely with soap, as if soap cost nothing, thinking, *Didn’t you want me to wash them for you? Fine, I’ll wash them. If you refuse to learn, let’s see who you rely on in the future.*
Fang Muyang used the back of his hand to wipe her tears. “Don’t cry. I’ll wash them, all right?”
Under Fei Ni’s supervision, Fang Muyang finished washing the clothes and went to hang them up. It was already dark. He asked Fei Ni what time she would come tomorrow. Fei Ni said she would be very busy for a while and would not come anymore.
He asked again where Fei Ni’s home was. If she did not come, he could go see her.
Fei Ni said, “Don’t come looking for me. If I have time, I’ll come see you.” She searched through her bag, took out a dictionary, and placed it in Fang Muyang’s hands. She told him that once he could recite the whole dictionary, she would come see him again.
Fang Muyang had forgotten all the characters he had once known. Now, he only recognised his own name, Fei Ni’s name, and the characters printed on money and grain coupons.
When Fei Ni left, Fang Muyang insisted on seeing her to the entrance of the inpatient department. When she turned the corner, Fei Ni looked back and found Fang Muyang still standing there, tall and broad.
She was definitely not coming tomorrow. Why should she? His own father, mother, brother, and sister could not look after him. His former girlfriend was not even willing to visit him. She had no family ties or obligations to him, yet she had cared for him for more than half a year. She had gained nothing from it and still had to continue making hats in the hat factory. She had already done more than enough for him.
But then she felt sad for him, and for exactly the same reason: his own father, mother, brother, and sister could not look after him, and his former girlfriend was not even willing to visit him.
Sadness was sadness, but she decided she would never go see him again.
The next morning, Fei Ni rode her bicycle toward the hospital first thing. It was only when she was almost at the hospital that she remembered she had decided not to go anymore.
Because Fei Ni kept running to the hospital, her mother feared she really would marry that mentally unclear Fang Muyang. Every day, she lectured her: heroes were meant to be admired, not lived with. In his current state, she would have to take care of him. A man should be someone who knew how to cherish others.
Fei Ni grew tired of hearing it and said, “I know how to cherish myself. I don’t need a man to cherish me.”
Fei Ni’s elder brother, Fei Ting, came home on family leave. Fei Ni took him around the park, to the cinema, to drink Arctic Ocean soda, to eat cream rolls that were more than twice as expensive as biscuits, and bought canned lychees that she normally would never buy. The city had not changed much, but every time Fei Ting came back, he had to adapt to it all over again.
As soon as Fei Ting came home, he looked for work to do. The floor was uneven, so he found cement and smoothed it out. He repainted the white wall by the window, repaired the furniture here and there, and never had a moment of rest. Fei Ni wanted to help him wash his clothes, but he hurriedly snatched them away, saying they were filthy and telling Fei Ni to stay to one side. How could he let his younger sister wash his clothes?
Fei Ni told Fei Ting to invite his girlfriend over for a meal. She had bought spare ribs and fish. Fei Ting’s girlfriend, Lin Mei, had originally been a sent-down youth with him. At the beginning of this year, she had returned to the city and now worked as a sales assistant in a pastry shop.
Fei Ting said he did not have a girlfriend. He and Lin Mei had broken up.
“How did you break up? The sachima you ate yesterday was from her.”
“Why didn’t you tell me she gave it to me?”
“Aren’t I telling you now? What happened between you two? Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for someone else. Brother, you can’t do that. Sister Mei has been so good to you.”
“What goes on in that head of yours all day?” Fei Ting sighed and reached into his trouser pocket. He took out everything he had and gave it to Fei Ni. “I already ate it, so I ate it. Give her this money. If it’s too much, don’t ask for the change.”
Unable to reason with her brother, Fei Ni decided to personally invite Lin Mei to their home for dinner. Lin Mei felt terribly wronged. She had never brought up breaking up. She had only asked Fei Ting to think of a way to return to the city as soon as possible. In another two years, she would be thirty. She could not just keep wasting time like this. After saying that, she had complained a few times, saying that if it were not for Fei Ting, she would not be squeezed into one tiny room with her parents at home; she would have married a man with a house long ago. Her family’s layout was the same as the Fei family’s and not much bigger: two small rooms. Her elder sister, brother-in-law, and niece lived in the inner room, so she could only squeeze into the outer room with her parents. After Fei Ting heard that, he told her to hurry up and marry a young man with a house, then. Even if he returned to the city, he would have no house to marry in.
“Tell me, is what your brother said even human? It’s not as if I’m forcing him to come back. I just wanted a clear answer from him, but he wouldn’t even say one pleasant thing.”
Fei Ni really could not scold her brother in front of Lin Mei. What he said had been unpleasant, but it was the truth. Never mind the fact that he could not return to the city now; even if he did come back, the neighbourhood office might not arrange work for him. Even if he had work, he still would not be allocated housing. He could only squeeze in with them at home. He could not make her and their parents squeeze into one room just so he could marry.
“My brother doesn’t know what’s good for him. I apologise on his behalf. He already regrets it. Come with me. I made spare ribs for you. You still care about him, otherwise why would you give him sachima?”
“I pitied him, that’s all! I’m not going to your house to eat. Why should I be so eager? If your brother doesn’t apologise to me, I’ll go on a blind date tomorrow. Let’s see who regrets it! In the countryside, he doesn’t even have a mud-brick house. Don’t be fooled by rural girls making eyes at him. When it really comes to marriage, none of them will marry him. I told him to find a way back to the city. Wasn’t that for his own good? He only knows how to think of his own family. Who in this family thinks of him…” Lin Mei realised that the person sitting opposite her was Fei Ting’s younger sister, and swallowed back the words that had reached her lips.
Fei Ni could no longer force out a smile. “If I had been the one sent to the countryside back then, he would have a job now, and you two would also have a house to marry in.”
Lin Mei hurriedly defended herself. “That’s not what I meant. Don’t think like that. He’s a man, and he’s older than you. It’s only right that he left the opportunity to you.”
Fei Ni hardened her heart and continued, “Sister Mei, my brother will definitely be able to return to the city this year, and there will be a house for you to marry in too. He only said those things in anger. Don’t lower yourself to his level. If he can’t return to the city this year, then whoever you want to go on blind dates with, I won’t stop you.”
“All these years, he hasn’t been able to come back. How can he come back this year?”
“He definitely can. Last year, my father was hospitalised for more than a month because of heart problems. The doctor said he can’t do heavy labour. That hospital can issue a certificate. Once I’m married and move out, the family will need my brother to come back and take care of our parents. With his situation, he should be able to apply for hardship return to the city. By then, there will be a house too.”
“Who are you marrying?”
Fei Ni had not decided who she would marry, but she was definitely going to marry. She immediately thought of Fang Muyang. As long as she married him, her brother would definitely be able to return. If she had to care for Fang Muyang, she could not look after the family too, so the Educated Youth Office would certainly arrange hardship return for her brother and let him come back to the city. If she married Fang Muyang, the hat factory would also allocate housing to her, and she would be able to move out. But Fang Muyang only lingered in her mind for a few seconds before she rejected the idea.
Fei Ni’s expression frightened Lin Mei. By then, Lin Mei had vented most of her anger. She told Fei Ni not to do anything foolish.
“Even without my brother’s matter, I still have to get married.” These days, regardless of gender, only married people were qualified for housing allocation. And housing allocation was inseparable from rank and years of service. Even if her brother could return to the city, work, and marry, housing allocation would not reach him for a long time. She was more likely than her brother to move into a new place through marriage, so the room at home had to be left for him.
Fei Ni told Lin Mei not to tell her brother yet that she was going to marry. She wanted to give her brother a surprise.
As soon as Fei Ting left, Fei Ni said to her mother, “Weren’t you going to introduce someone to me? Do you have anyone in mind now?”
Fei’s mother did not know why her daughter had suddenly become anxious, but being anxious was better than not being anxious. She asked her daughter what requirements she had.
Fei Ni showed no shyness at all and directly threw out four standards: he had to be a university graduate; he had to work in a government office; he could not be over thirty-two; and he had to look decent. Fei Ni knew that men who met the first two conditions were generally provided with housing by their work units after marriage.
It was only then that Fei Ni began paying attention to how she dressed. She had not made clothes for herself in years. The savings she had accumulated had all been spent on Fang Muyang, so she had no money to buy anything new for herself. She remembered that her mother still had an old piece of checked homespun cloth, so she took it out and made a half skirt, the hem reaching ten centimetres below her knees. She scrubbed her pair of white sneakers again and again with a brush until they were as white as soda powder in a jar. She borrowed an iron and ironed the skirt and shirt. When the white shirt was tucked into the skirt, it showed her figure too clearly, so Fei Ni pulled the shirt out instead. That way, her waist did not look so slim.
For the first time ever, she filled in her eyebrows, applied lipstick, and wore her freshly ironed clothes to the photo studio to have photographs taken: one full-body photo and one half-body photo. These were the two photographs her blind-date partners saw.
There were not many men who met her conditions, but she was young, had a good figure, and was pretty. She had a formal job; her strengths were very strong, and she had no obvious weaknesses. Very quickly, she found a young man who exceeded her standards.
Ye Feng was five years older than Fei Ni. Though still young, he had already become a section chief. His parents both worked in the hospital, so if anyone in the family ever had a headache or fever, they could help.
He was not merely decent-looking; he exceeded Fei Ni’s requirements by quite a bit.
In short, by every standard, he was a good young man.
Plenty of people had tried to introduce women to him, but he had not met any of them. When Fei Ni’s photographs were handed to him, he looked at them a few extra times.
Their first meeting was arranged at the park. Before he had time to clearly see Fei Ni’s face, he saw the two bottles of soda in her hands. Fei Ni handed him one and invited him to drink.
To thank Fei Ni for the soda, he invited her to the pastry shop for buttered bread.
After they left the pastry shop, Ye Feng walked Fei Ni home. When they reached her doorway, out of politeness, Fei Ni naturally had to invite him inside for a cup of water. Fei’s mother was especially attentive toward Ye Feng and insisted on keeping him for dinner. Originally, dinner had been green vegetables with thin congee, but she secretly took out money and coupons and sent Old Fei to the shop to buy cooked beef and ham.
After seeing Ye Feng off, Fei Ni told her mother not to be so enthusiastic. It was only their first meeting, and acting like that made it seem as if they were trying to climb up to him.
“I thought you were satisfied with him.”
“There’s nothing I’m dissatisfied with, really.”
Fei Ni did not dislike Ye Feng and agreed to go watch a film with him next time.
The film showing was during the day. Fei Ni did not meet men at night.
The film was a disaster-relief film from Romania, with a few intimate scenes. She had watched it once with Fang Muyang.
When the intimate scenes appeared, Ye Feng’s hands remained very proper, unlike Fang Muyang, who had acted like such a hooligan.
After watching this film, they arranged to watch another one on Sunday afternoon.
The second time, they watched a domestic film. After the film ended, Ye Feng invited Fei Ni to eat out with him. Fei Ni said it was her father’s birthday today, so she had to go home for dinner. Hearing this, Ye Feng took the initiative to say he would go to her home and celebrate Old Fei’s birthday. Fei Ni could not think of a good reason to refuse, so she agreed.
When Fei Ni went upstairs, her mother was cooking in the corridor.
This time, when Fei’s mother saw Ye Feng, she was not as enthusiastic as last time. Instead, she kept giving Fei Ni meaningful looks.
But no matter how her mother signalled with her eyes, Fei Ni could not guess what she meant. Fang Muyang had come to her home. He was sitting inside, waiting for her, and he had even brought her a gift.
Every day in the hospital, Fang Muyang had been memorising the dictionary. An old junior high classmate had come to visit him, and from this classmate, who had known both him and Fei Ni, he learned Fei Ni’s home address. He then asked that person to write the address down, took the paper slip, and got on the bus. Asking for directions all the way, he had actually found the Fei family home.
He could not hear the underlying meaning in Fei Ni’s parents’ attempts to ask him to leave at all. He stubbornly insisted on waiting at their home for Fei Ni.
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