Pride: it’s my own decision.
Xie Yazhi had prepared a whole table full of dishes, but the people at the dining table had only decreased, not increased. In the end, only she and Jiang Yantang, this “mother and son,” were left. Even Jiang Liming did not come to disturb them.
Last night, she had argued with Jiang Liming for the entire night without reaching any conclusion. Xie Yazhi had not slept well at all. She had tossed and turned, her mind filled with everything that had happened during the day: her biological son’s words, her husband’s words, and… that daughter-in-law’s words. Every sentence replayed clearly in her head.
So when she woke up that morning, she was listless. Xie Yazhi simply requested a few days of sick leave from the school. With such a major incident happening in her family, the school had already heard about it. Rumours had spread everywhere; people just avoided saying them directly in front of Xie Yazhi. Now that she wanted leave, the leader naturally approved it for her.
“Have you heard? Teacher Xie’s youngest son isn’t actually her biological son.”
“You mean Jiang Yantang? Teacher Xie always talks about this youngest son of hers. How could he not be her real son?”
“Her real son was taken away by some crazy rural woman and raised by her. What a sin. I heard he had a hard life growing up and doesn’t have much education. Now that he’s back with his real mother, he should finally be able to live well…”
“Ah, that child is pitiful. How were they so careless back then and let someone carry their real son away?”
“I don’t know. As for Jiang Yantang…”
…
Xie Yazhi had no appetite that morning. She ate an egg, then reminded Jiang Liming to go to Grandpa Jiang’s house and bring the children back. No matter what, the family still had to sit down and have a meal together.
Jiang Liming agreed verbally, but later he sent a young soldier back to say that he was busy with work and probably would not be able to return home today. Since he himself was so busy that he was overwhelmed, he naturally could not go to Grandpa Jiang’s or Grandma Jiang’s either.
When Xie Yazhi heard this, she smashed a jewellery box.
She did not understand what her husband meant and could not help guessing in her mind. Was he truly busy with work and unable to take care of the family, or did he simply not want to deal with this matter anymore? He did not intend to go to Grandpa Jiang’s house to bring the children back, and likewise, he did not intend to eat this reunion meal.
These Jiang men were all so full of trouble.
Xie Yazhi’s emotions surged. Her eyes reddened, and a sense of grievance instantly welled up in her. Even her husband, Jiang Liming, was blaming her. But what had she done wrong?
When the child had first returned, she had merely said a couple of things to Jiang Yantang:
“…Were these months in the village hard on you? Mum told you not to go down to the countryside, but you insisted. Look at you, you’ve become darker and thinner…”
“If you hadn’t gone, you wouldn’t have suffered like this.”
…
She had not expected that these two sentences would also make Jiang Liming brood over it. Now, as Xie Yazhi thought back on it, she also felt regret. The speaker had no intention, but the listener had taken it to heart. It was as if she had been making sarcastic remarks in front of everyone, implying that it would have been better if Jiang Yantang had not gone to the countryside, because then the matter of the swapped children would never have been exposed…
Especially since she had said those words in front of the children. That child—when he heard those words, what had he been thinking at the time?
Heaven knew that Xie Yazhi truly had not meant it that way. She had simply grown used to saying those things before, saying them every day with Mo Xuanyi and the others, worrying about the child who had gone to the countryside as an educated youth.
That day, she was about to meet her biological son, and there were so many people outside watching the excitement. Xie Yazhi’s mind had been a mess. The moment she saw Jiang Yantang, those habitual words had slipped out all at once without passing through her brain at all.
Now that she thought about it… she realised those words must have chilled the other child’s heart.
Although they were biological mother and son, they had never met in eighteen years. In such a sudden situation, how could Xie Yazhi have known how to react?
Xie Yazhi desperately tried to find excuses for herself in her heart, but in the end, she still rubbed her temples with a headache.
She and Jiang Yantang ate the lavish meal together. At this moment, even Xie Yazhi had no mood to ask anything. The dining table was so quiet that only the sound of bowls and chopsticks could be heard.
Her husband was unwilling to bring the children back, so Xie Yazhi dressed herself up and originally planned to go herself. But when she reached the entrance of the compound, she suddenly lost courage. Her relationship with Grandpa Jiang and Grandma Jiang was only ordinary. If she went over this time, she did not know what she would face.
Was the child doing well at his grandparents’ place?
His grandparents would definitely say a few resentful things to her again.
Would that child call her Auntie Xie again?
…
Xie Yazhi hesitated again and again, but in the end, she still failed to take that step. Yet when she returned home, she remained distracted, wondering whether she could find someone else to go and take a look.
Her heart was in complete chaos.
Jiang Yantang put down his chopsticks. He looked at Xie Yazhi, who was sitting across from him, restless and uneasy. His throat felt as if it were blocked by a walnut; he could hardly say a word.
He closed his eyes. Thinking of Sun Mei’s situation, he finally spoke.
Sun Mei was, after all, his biological mother. Jiang Yantang had once firmly denied it countless times in his heart. He would not plead for this woman who had broken the law. But now, no matter what, he could not feel at ease.
She had done this, in the end, because of him.
If they could obtain the Jiang family’s forgiveness, that would be best. As the elder brother, he would definitely help Xie Mingtu in the future, take them around the compound and introduce them to various relatives and friends, and find ways to help them settle in the city.
He would spend a great deal of time in the future making up for the wrongs his mother had committed.
“What?!” Xie Yazhi froze. “Forgive Sun Mei?”
Xie Yazhi could hardly believe that she was hearing these words from Jiang Yantang’s mouth. He was actually asking her to forgive Sun Mei for swapping the children back then. Xie Yazhi’s eyes widened, and for a moment, what surged up in her mind was endless anger.
She did indeed like Jiang Yantang very much. She was willing to take him as her godson. For so many years, she had treated him as her biological son, held him in the palm of her hand, and loved him dearly. Even after knowing that he had no blood relation to her, even after knowing that it was his mother who had swapped away her child, Xie Yazhi had not vented her resentment on him.
“Back then, Sun Mei… she was only momentarily confused…” Jiang Yantang was extremely eloquent. His words were logical, reasonable, sincere, and heartfelt. They made people unconsciously follow his train of thought and believe what he said.
If Xie Yazhi had not personally gone through that huge pile of documents last night, she might really have been persuaded by Jiang Yantang at this moment.
Listening to him describe it as a momentary mistake, it seemed as if it truly could be forgiven. She had swapped someone else’s child, but she had also lost her own child.
…
But in the materials her husband had thrown to her, there were countless testimonies from villagers, as well as testimony from Zhou Xiaohui, a former member of the Xie family. Especially those matters personally narrated and recorded by Zhou Xiaohui… after Xie Yazhi read through them one by one, she finally understood what kind of life her biological son had lived in the Xie family.
She had treated someone else’s child like a treasure in her hands, while her own child had been…
No matter how much Xie Yazhi liked Jiang Yantang, she could not control the anger inside her. She had even begun to redirect some of that anger toward Jiang Yantang.
Earlier, when Xie Yazhi had been lingering uncertainly at the entrance of the compound, she had secretly overheard some people talking:
“Shh, I wouldn’t dare say this in front of others, but don’t you think that Xie Yazhi has something wrong with her brain? I heard her biological son was driven out by her as soon as he came back…”
“That son came from the countryside. She probably doesn’t like him. Looks down on him. Doesn’t she still prefer Jiang Yantang?”
“He’s still her biological child, at least. A piece of flesh that fell from her own body. No matter how bad my son was, could I give him away to someone else?”
“Hey, hey, I heard that crazy woman who swapped the children treated the Jiang family like fools. Their whole family has the Jiang family completely in their grasp. They abused someone else’s child, and yet that person still has to hold her child up like a treasure. Apparently, when she was arrested, she was still saying that the Jiang family would definitely beg for her to be released…”
“Do you think Xie Yazhi deliberately let the child get swapped? From what I see, she’s usually only so-so toward the eldest and second sons too. She’s just bad to her own biological children and likes raising other people’s children.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s cheap, I guess.”
…
She just liked raising other people’s children!
Xie Yazhi was so disgusted by that sentence that she could barely eat. She had originally thought Jiang Yantang respected her, had grown up with the Jiang family, and would not side with that so-called Xie family or that woman. Who would have known that the moment he opened his mouth, he was pleading for mercy?
He was still pleading for the woman who had swapped away her own child.
Thinking of everything she had read in those documents, everything Sun Mei had done, and then hearing Jiang Yantang’s words, Xie Yazhi felt as disgusted as if she had swallowed a fly.
The child she had once loved so dearly now seemed hideous in front of her.
“That Sun Mei and her son have the Jiang family completely in their grasp.”
“The mother swapped the children so her son could eat first, and now the son is bringing his mother along to gnaw on the Jiang family’s bones.”
“Just watch. She swapped away Xie Yazhi’s biological son, and who knows, maybe Xie Yazhi will even be brainwashed into thinking it was a good swap. Otherwise, how could she keep saying, ‘Our Yantang is such an outstanding child’? Hahaha.”
“Will the Jiang family forgive her?”
“How could they not? Didn’t she drive her own biological son out the moment he came home? She only wants this adopted son. Maybe she’ll even raise his whole family too!”
“Just wait and watch the joke.”
…
Xie Yazhi had originally been anxious, thinking the people in the compound were laughing at her biological son from the countryside, mocking him for being ignorant and inexperienced. But after her biological son had only shown his face once and left, she realised what they were saying, what they were laughing at, was her, Xie Yazhi.
They were mocking her for having something wrong with her brain, for being played like a fool by a rural woman. Not only had she worked hard to raise that woman’s child, she might even end up supporting his whole family.
Her own biological son had been trampled on, yet she still acted like a saint, grateful and forgiving.
—She swapped my child? And I still have to thank her?
At this moment, Xie Yazhi’s resentment reached its peak. Even with Jiang Yantang, whom she had always loved so much, sitting in front of her, she could not suppress the rage surging out of her.
“Jiang Yantang!”
It was the first time Xie Yazhi had called his full name so solemnly.
“Do you want to change your surname to Xie?”
Keeping him as her godson was only her own wish. She had not even asked clearly whether he was willing to be her child.
Maybe he was already impatient to become that woman Sun Mei’s child.
Jiang Yantang froze. He had not expected Xie Yazhi’s expression to change so quickly. In the past, Xie Yazhi had always been loving and gentle in front of him. But now, when she looked at him, there was not the slightest trace of her former warmth.
Had she finally realised that he was not her biological son?
“Mum, do you regret it?”
Did she regret taking him in as her adopted son? Did she regret not loving her own biological child?
“Mum, if little brother minds, I can return to the Xie family. From now on, I won’t be part of the Jiang family anymore.”
Jiang Yantang said those words in a moment of impulse, but he did not regret them. He believed that Xie Yazhi would definitely be unwilling to let him leave. After all, they had so many years of mother-son affection between them.
Xie Yazhi shook her head. “What you said just now is absolutely impossible. Sun Mei swapped the children and abused my biological child. She must be heavily sentenced. No one in the Jiang family will forgive her. Absolutely no one!”
Jiang Yantang’s heart tightened. “Mum, you’re just angry right now. Sun Mei did something wrong, but she did raise little brother until he was eighteen or nineteen. After more than ten years of raising him, maybe little brother still cares about that mother in his heart.”
“No matter what, the grace of raising someone for so many years cannot be erased.”
“Grace of raising him?” Xie Yazhi sneered. Suddenly, she felt that she was truly a joke. If they were talking about the Jiang family and Jiang Yantang, then it would still make sense to speak of the grace of raising him. But now, he was saying the Xie family had shown her son the grace of raising him?
She finally somewhat understood why her husband had disagreed with taking Jiang Yantang as an adopted son.
The resentment between their two families could never be erased.
Jiang Yantang could not cut off his relationship with Sun Mei. He was even pleading for his biological mother. After all, she was Jiang Yantang’s real mother.
…And what about herself?
The other child was her biological child.
After Sun Mei knew Jiang Yantang was her biological son, even though she had never raised him and had never seen him before, she still ran to the educated-youth station every few days to secretly look at him… But what about me?
I have only seen my child once. He is so thin and tall, his eyes and brows resemble mine too. I don’t know how much hardship he suffered before. I never even opened my mouth to show concern for him. He is already married. I have a daughter-in-law now… and I didn’t know any of this.
Xie Yazhi stood up. She did not plan to eat anymore.
“Yantang, whether you want to stay with the Jiang family or return to the Xie family, I will not interfere with your decision. You are already an adult.”
“As for Sun Mei’s matter, not only is it impossible for me to forgive her, but the rest of the Jiang family—his father, his older brothers, his grandparents—will never forgive her either.”
“If you become dissatisfied with the family because of this, then there is nothing we can do.”
At this moment, Xie Yazhi only felt physically and mentally exhausted.
After returning to her room, it was not long before she received a call from her eldest son. On the phone, her eldest son asked about what had happened over the past two days and showed some concern for the newly returned younger brother. But after hearing that he had gone to their grandparents’ house, he fell silent.
“The moment he came home, I told him I wanted to take Yantang as my godson. Did I do something wrong?”
On the other end of the phone, Eldest Jiang said faintly, “…Mum, that was something you wanted to do. Whether it was wrong or not isn’t something outsiders can judge.”
“In your heart, are you biased toward your biological younger brother? Do you resent me too?”
“What about the brotherly relationship you and Yantang have had for more than ten years?”
Eldest Jiang sighed. “Things can’t be perfect both ways. Then don’t let little brother come back. From now on, Jiang Yantang can still be the youngest of the Jiang family. If you don’t want others to know about this matter, then just let things stay this way.”
“The family can remain the same as before.”
“What do you mean by that? Do you think I don’t want to acknowledge your brother?”
Eldest Jiang said, “I’m saying there’s no need. Little brother calls you Uncle and Auntie. He himself doesn’t want to be acknowledged back into the family.”
Eldest Jiang did not make it any clearer over the phone. He felt his mother was being wishful. Leaving everything else aside, Xie Mingtu was not willing to acknowledge her as his biological mother.
Xie Yazhi had never fulfilled her responsibilities as his mother. He had been stolen away as a child, and when he grew up and returned home, things turned out like this. Did he not have even the slightest resentment? Did he really want to acknowledge these parents?
“He doesn’t want to come back? Is this a matter of whether he wants to or not? He is a piece of flesh that fell from my own body. His blood and flesh are mine.”
Eldest Jiang asked in return, “Then is Jiang Yantang going to be acknowledged back too? Isn’t he also flesh that fell from his mother’s body? You can’t want your own biological son while also occupying someone else’s son.”
Xie Yazhi said, “So you still think I was wrong.”
“You weren’t wrong. Grandpa called me just now and told me some things. I think it’s better if you don’t know them, Mum.”
“Oh, and I won’t be coming back for New Year this year. Second Brother is leaving tomorrow. His leave is almost over. These past few days, he swapped shifts with someone else, and he already promised the New Year days to that person.”
Xie Yazhi froze. “Your second brother is leaving tomorrow?!”
“He hasn’t even said a few words to me. We haven’t even eaten a meal together…” If her second son left, then what about that child? Would he stay here, or would he leave together with him? Would he return to Qiaoxin Village?
Yes. He could not return to the Xie family. He could also choose not to return to the Jiang family. He still had his wife. He could return to the village.
But she could not let her own child continue staying in the village.
“Mum, I have to work overtime here. Something came up. I’m hanging up.”
That night, Grandpa Jiang sat in front of the desk lamp, wiping his reading glasses. The playful, smiling old-child expression he had worn during the day was gone. Instead, his face was extremely serious. After putting on his reading glasses, he took out the box containing all his past military honours.
He took them out one by one and stared at them quietly for a long time.
When Grandma Jiang entered the room and saw him like this, she assumed he was recalling the past again.
“What’s wrong? Why have you taken all these things out again? Are you going to show them to the children tomorrow?”
“My ears are already calloused from hearing those stories of yours.” Although Grandma Jiang said this aloud, her mind could not help recalling those glorious days of the past.
All those hardships, sorrows, sweetness, and bitterness had now been buried in the dust of history.
Although they had supposedly been forgotten, once the box of memories was opened, those surging images still flashed clearly through her mind.
“Old woman, tell me, in this lifetime of ours, we never did anything against our conscience. So why did our own grandson have to suffer through something like this?” Grandpa Jiang’s voice carried a trace of choking. The prouder he had acted in front of Old Wang during the day, the more terrible he felt now.
He originally had such an outstanding biological grandson. That child was so clever, so gifted, yet he had been delayed for so many years for nothing.
Delayed for so many years…
Grandma Jiang fell silent when she heard this. Apart from letting out a long sigh, she could not say anything comforting.
“Xiaotu and Xiaoman are both good children. Yantang, that child, he is good too, good too… These things can’t be blamed on him.”
Grandma Jiang wiped the corner of her eyes. After her lips moved slightly, she forced out a faint smile.
“Then what are you thinking now?”
“Now that Xiaotu is back, will you send him to toughen up like his eldest and second brothers?” Grandma Jiang was referring to the past practice. Once the children of the Jiang family came of age, Grandpa Jiang would throw them into the army, especially under that Instructor Chen. If they endured one or two years there without losing a layer of skin, they were considered lucky.
Back then, Jiang Yantang had been unwilling to suffer through that and had chosen to go down to the countryside as an educated youth instead.
Grandpa Jiang closed the box and shook his head.
“Our Xiaotu should go to school and study properly. In the future, he should become a scientist and a pillar of the country.”
Grandma Jiang was greatly surprised. “I can’t believe I’m hearing those words from your mouth.”
“When Yantang came back then, that wasn’t what you said. I wonder who it was who kept saying that the children of our Jiang family must be able to endure hardship and shed blood, and absolutely must not be the kind of people who avoid the difficult and choose the easy. If they can’t even get through two years, what right do they have to be part of the Jiang family?”
Grandpa Jiang grabbed Grandma Jiang’s hand, lowered his head, and leaned closer.
“Let me tell you about your youngest grandson. He is too gifted. We can’t delay him any longer…”
…
“Manman… Manman…”
Su Xiaoman was hugged from behind. The voice by her ear was still that familiar voice, and the corners of her lips could not help curving into a smile.
This silly dog. After coming home, his energy had simply become more and more excessive. During the day, he had gone out early in the morning with Grandpa Jiang and Second Brother Jiang, burning off his husky-like energy, yet he had not been tired into a dog. By night, he was once again lively and vigorous.
This was the energy of an eighteen- or nineteen-year-old boy. It was terrifyingly strong.
Yesterday, he had tasted a little sweetness, and now he was hugging her again, trying to push his luck. Su Xiaoman really wanted to ask him: don’t you know how to get tired? Right now, he was like a husky that had been locked at home for several days without going out, wildly letting loose.
She had to think of a way to wear down his energy!
Su Xiaoman turned her head and stroked his face.
“Have you noticed that ever since you came to Grandpa and Grandma’s house, you’ve become more and more energetic?”
“Manman, I’m happy.” Xie Mingtu hugged her, his eyes sparkling brightly. Under the quilt, his hand caught Su Xiaoman’s.
Then she heard his aggrieved voice.
“Manman, help me…”
Su Xiaoman: “…” Help my foot.
Had he eaten some kind of medicine? Su Xiaoman herself was panicking, afraid that he would lose control completely, and that in the end even this would not satisfy him and he would need some other method.
What she did not know was that exercise could greatly stimulate a person’s desire. During the day, he had trained with Grandpa Jiang for half the day, and it had not taken long for him to recover. By evening, of course he started thinking about those things again.
Yesterday’s dream had stimulated him far too much.
With no other choice, Su Xiaoman helped him again. But she herself did not feel much better either. Young bodies could not withstand much teasing.
Her breathing grew a little hurried. She turned around, deliberately facing away from Xie Mingtu. Xie Mingtu, who had barely been satisfied, hugged her again from behind. His embrace was far too hot. Even though it was already winter, they did not need a thick quilt. This silly dog was like a huge hot-water bottle, continuously pouring warmth into her body.
Su Xiaoman closed her eyes. She felt that she had also been affected by this dog beside her who seemed to have eaten that kind of medicine. Otherwise, why could she not calm down either?
She did not think about the fact that when a young man and woman lay under the same quilt together, how could they possibly remain calm?
It was only because both of them were inexperienced that they had managed to endure until now.
Not to mention, Xie Mingtu still planned to train his body more. In order to satisfy Manman in the future, he was willing to act like Liu Xiahui for now. He could not let Manman’s impression of him worsen.
**Nomad: Liu Xiahui is a famous ancient Chinese figure known for his self-control around women. In Chinese, saying a man is like Liu Xiahui usually means he is very restrained, proper, and able to resist temptation, even in intimate situations.**
“Manman, I want to join the army.”
Su Xiaoman froze for a moment, then turned her head to look at Xie Mingtu. His gaze was extremely serious, like stars in the night sky, dazzling and bright.
“Did Grandpa ask you to go?”
“It’s my own decision.” Xie Mingtu lowered his head and spoke beside her ear. His warm breath slipped into her ear, making it a little itchy.
“Is that so?” Su Xiaoman turned around to face him directly. “I support your decision. No matter what you do, I’ll stay by your side.”
“Manman, I’ll work hard to become someone you and Grandpa can be proud of.”
Su Xiaoman smiled, held Xie Mingtu’s cheeks, and kissed him gently on the face.
“I’ll look forward to that day.”
In the past, she had thought Xie Mingtu might become a top technical expert in some field. Now that he said he wanted to join the army, maybe he would end up building tanks and cannons in the future.
Su Xiaoman felt that she had already seen through him. During the day, when Grandpa Jiang talked about those things, he had been extremely interested. Just like when he had previously driven tractors and transport trucks, his eyes had shone brightly the moment he heard about them.
He definitely wanted to try those things out.
If he wanted to try, then let him try. She would accompany him.
This silly dog had far too much energy. He truly needed something to help consume it.
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