Red bean porridge: She just likes being coaxed by him like this.
The first day of the New Year.
Xie Mingtu, who usually woke early, was still lazing in bed.
It had snowed last night, and by morning the sky had already cleared, yet in his ears still echoed the soft rustling of falling snow from the middle of the night—as well as her muffled sobs and pleading voice.
It was hard not to linger on.
Propping himself up on one hand, he leaned slightly over, his left hand loosely winding a strand of her dark hair as he quietly drew closer to his Manman.
The hair slipped from his fingers. His thumb moved as if to touch her soft cheek, but stopped just before making contact.
He couldn’t bear to wake her.
She had been too tired last night.
He picked up another strand of her hair and placed a gentle kiss on it, his expression full of contentment.
A faint smile curled at the corner of his lips—one he didn’t even realise himself. That sweet feeling sank deep into the softest part of his heart. It was only yesterday that Xie Mingtu had realised… he might actually be a bit bad.
He had wanted to make her cry, to hear her beg, to hear her call him “Mingtu-gege” again and again.
Even if he knew that when she woke up later, she definitely wouldn’t give him a kind expression—
He didn’t regret it at all.
Not only did he not regret it, he even wanted to do it again.
He wanted to see her cry beneath him.
If it hadn’t been for yesterday, Xie Mingtu would never have known that such happiness existed in this world. Before, he had thought that letting Manman help him a little was already enough to satisfy him.
But now…
His former self, so easily satisfied, seemed foolishly innocent.
Thinking back to last night—snow falling endlessly outside, warmth lingering inside—Manman had been as soft as water.
As the year turned from 1974 to 1975, he had been inside her.
If every New Year could be like that, it would truly be perfect.
Of course, he would never dare to tell Manman that. She would definitely be furious—probably kicking him like Grandma kicked Grandpa.
…
Su Xiaoman slept until nearly one in the afternoon.
It wasn’t until hunger twisted her stomach that she finally opened her tired eyes.
Her body felt like it was falling apart. In her haze, she remembered romance novels she had read—about heroines feeling like rag dolls. Yes, that was exactly how she felt now.
This proved one thing: you really couldn’t let a man hold back for too long. The longer he suppressed himself, the stronger the eventual explosion—and the harder it was to bear.
Wasn’t it said that the first time wouldn’t be anything special?
Then why had this stupid dog shown off such strength?
She had been completely overwhelmed last night.
How many times had it been? One, two, three, four, five… she couldn’t even count anymore. Toward the end, her mind had gone blank, leaving only the sensations he brought her.
“Manman…” Xie Mingtu stayed by the bedside, watching her. The air carried a faint, sweet warmth.
He had cooked red bean porridge.
He wasn’t good at much, but he could at least cook porridge and rice soup. Now, in front of Manman, he didn’t dare make rice soup anymore.
Early in the morning, he had boiled red bean porridge with brown sugar, goji berries, and red dates. Seeing her wake, he quickly brought over a thick bowl, eagerly offering it to her.
Su Xiaoman lay lazily in bed, taking a few sips to calm her starving stomach. His cooking skills might be terrible, but his porridge was decent.
After finishing a bowl, she stretched lazily, not wanting to move at all, staying wrapped in the blanket on New Year’s Day.
She casually ordered Xie the dog around, and the two of them played five-in-a-row. Su Xiaoman won every game. She enjoyed playing with him because, despite how clever he was, he always found subtle ways to let her win.
Winning all the time became boring, so she drew a flying chess board and had him carve dice out of wood, deciding to play something based purely on luck.
However…
No matter how many times she rolled, she never got a six. Xie Mingtu was the same—until she finally rolled one, and then he did too…
In the end, she still won.
She felt like he had made it even easier for her.
This silly dog seemed able to roll whatever number he wanted. Even so, she was happy—she liked being pampered like this.
She hugged his face and kissed him several times.
She thought that if he had lived in ancient times, he could’ve opened a gambling house and made a fortune.
After getting bored of games, she thought of other ways to pass time. He made bamboo animals for her—a little rabbit, even a small grass nest to go with it.
Holding the rabbit, she couldn’t help feeling like he was hinting at something.
In the future, their children probably wouldn’t lack toys… though maybe these rabbits shouldn’t be for them.
After staying inside for a long time, she finally couldn’t sit still. Xie Mingtu wrapped her in a coat and carried her outside.
The snow hadn’t melted yet. Ice coated the leaves, forming beautiful frozen shapes. She collected many of these delicate ice leaves.
In the yard, he built a snowman for her.
Not only could he carve wood and weave animals, his snow sculptures were also impressive. He built a lifelike ice rabbit, which she immediately hit with a snowball.
So he obediently made more—a fish, a turtle, even a giraffe.
Resting her chin on her hand, she watched him with a smile.
She thought: if they had children in the future, those children would definitely be happy.
Their father could make them so many beautiful things.
It was just a pity that snow would eventually melt—there was no camera to capture the moment.
Meanwhile, the Jiang family’s New Year felt quiet and empty.
At the New Year’s Eve dinner table, only three people sat—Xie Yazhi and Jiang Liming together, and Jiang Yantang sitting silently across from them.
Xie Yazhi had no mood to talk. She ate a few bites and ended the meal.
In previous years, they would watch fireworks, but this year she had no interest.
They had invited Grandpa and Grandma Jiang, but the two elders declined, saying they would celebrate on their own.
None of the children had returned. The eldest called, the second said nothing, and the daughter only sent a letter.
The only person at the table—Jiang Yantang—was not even her biological child.
Xie Yazhi gave a bitter smile.
She didn’t even know what this situation was anymore.
That child had returned to Qiaoxin Village with his wife. Originally, Xie Yazhi had thought she might have a chance to see him.
Yesterday, Wang Yiping had run into her. Xie Yazhi did not know whether Wang Yiping was trying to provoke her or what, but she suddenly said she envied Xie Yazhi for having several handsome children.
“Your youngest son is far too good-looking.”
“My son still has no idea where he’ll find a pretty wife.”
During this period, Wang Yiping had been searching for a daughter-in-law for her son, but the more she searched, the more hopeless she felt. None of the girls she saw were as pretty as Su Xiaoman, whom she had met that day. How could a countryside girl have such outstanding looks and bearing?
No wonder emperors in the past liked travelling incognito among the people. In the end, true beauties were among the common folk, hidden in the mountains and fields.
Her words left Xie Yazhi stunned. The two of them had always compared themselves against one another, but in truth, they also envied each other.
Xie Yazhi used to think Wang Yiping’s two sons were handsome in a bold, rugged way, with thick brows, large eyes, and square faces that looked reliable and ambitious. She had not expected Wang Yiping to prefer the refined good looks of her own sons.
Perhaps this was how it always was: openly comparing and refusing to admit defeat, while secretly envying what others had.
Xie Yazhi sighed. The house was quiet, with barely any New Year atmosphere. There were only a few spring couplets and “fortune” characters pasted up.
Afterward, when they went to Grandpa and Grandma Jiang’s house to pay New Year visits, Jiang Liming and Xie Yazhi did not bring Jiang Yantang along. Jiang Liming did not mention it, and Xie Yazhi naturally would not invite embarrassment upon herself. Besides, Jiang Yantang was not truly a descendant of the Jiang family.
When they arrived at his parents’ place, there was no one else there. Grandpa Jiang was studying a chess game alone. Seeing Jiang Liming and his wife arrive, he did not say much.
Xie Yazhi went to look at the room where the two children had stayed before.
“They went back for New Year? Why didn’t they stay here?”
“Xiaoman’s parents are over there,” Grandma Jiang replied casually. She called them out to eat, then pointed to a bundle on the wooden chair.
“When you two leave later, take these with you.”
Xie Yazhi turned and saw that it was exactly the birthday gifts she had brought for her youngest son before. They had not even been opened. The tags were still attached.
Her eyes grew hot. “Is he really not planning to acknowledge me as his mother? Am I not his real mother?”
“Mum, why don’t you persuade him too?”
Grandma Jiang sighed and advised, “Don’t bring these things again in the future. We’ll help you look after Xiaotu. That child is stubborn, just like his grandfather. Once he decides something, even several horses couldn’t pull him back.”
“Besides… what would you have him go back for? How would he fit into your home?” Grandma Jiang agreed with Grandpa Jiang’s view. The matter of the swapped children had already happened. The Jiang family had raised Jiang Yantang for more than ten years and did not want to hurt him, but they had also wronged Mingtu for more than ten years…
“If you can’t hold two bowls of water level, then hold one bowl and put the other down.”
“In the future, don’t bring Yantang here either. You two don’t have Mingtu as a son, and his grandfather and I don’t have Yantang as a god-grandson. Look after both people’s feelings.”
Tears rolled from Xie Yazhi’s eyes. “Now that I know he is my son, how can I pretend I don’t have this son?”
“He doesn’t want to acknowledge you. You can’t force him to. Didn’t you know before that he was your child? Then why did you say those things? You said in front of him that Jiang Yantang should never have gone down to the countryside. Weren’t you implying that Mingtu should never have come back?”
Xie Yazhi said, “It was just an unintentional mistake. I absolutely didn’t mean that.”
“It’s good that you understand it was unintentional. Precisely because it was unintentional, his grandfather and father don’t plan to let him acknowledge you. If he does acknowledge you, who knows how many more unintentional mistakes there will be in the future?”
“Unintentional words hurt the most.”
“His mother did something like that. Why do you still want Mingtu to get along with her child?”
“You should settle your heart and go back to live properly. Don’t think too much. Remember to take these things back. If you pile them here with me and his grandfather, we have no place for them.”
“He won’t accept your things.”
At the dining table, Xie Yazhi’s eyes were red. Jiang Liming glanced at her but said nothing. Grandpa Jiang asked his son a few things about work. The meal soon ended. Jiang Liming and his wife did not stay long; after drinking a cup of tea after the meal, they prepared to leave.
“Wait.”
Grandpa Jiang picked up the bundle of things. He did not hand it to Xie Yazhi, but placed it in his son’s hands.
Jiang Liming nodded. Grandpa Jiang turned and left, still strong and steady, walking into the house in a few strides.
Jiang Liming carried the bundle and walked back with his wife.
Halfway there, Xie Yazhi snatched the things from his hands. She wanted to throw them away, but could not bear to. Holding them, she burst into tears.
“Your Jiang family only knows how to bully me!”
Jiang Liming sighed. “Whether you throw them away or take them back is up to you.”
Xie Yazhi cried until she choked. “I want my son. Give my son back to me. I gave birth to three sons and one daughter, yet during New Year, not a single child is with me.”
“When the children came back, did you cherish them? They were all born from you. When Second son came back, how many words did you say to him? When you called him, what did you say?”
Xie Yazhi was stopped by his questions. She froze, and then all colour drained from her face. In this lifetime, she did not know what sin she had committed. Her biological sons had gradually grown distant from her, while the youngest son she doted on was not even her biological child.
…Why had she been so bewitched into favouring Jiang Yantang before?
Was it because the eldest and second were too mischievous?
“Mum, Eldest Brother and Second Brother bullied me again.”
“Mum, Eldest Brother and Second Brother…”
…
Xie Yazhi tried hard to recall the past. The more she remembered, the more a terrible suspicion took root. Could Jiang Yantang have known long ago that he was not her child, so he had deliberately driven a wedge between her and her biological sons?
Thinking again of Sun Mei’s actions and testimony—his biological mother had been like that. Could he be the same?
Once the seed of suspicion was planted, it grew uncontrollably.
If she had never seen what Sun Mei had done, perhaps it would have been fine. But now, the more Xie Yazhi thought about it, the more Jiang Yantang made her feel uncomfortable.
Why should she raise the child of such a woman?
That woman had once treated her biological son that way!
Through her blurred tears, Xie Yazhi’s mind felt dazed. Holding the pile of clothes in her arms, she suddenly did not want to go back and face Jiang Yantang.
She had already given him eighteen years of favour and love. She did not owe him anything. The ones she owed were other children—her biological children.
“Jiang Liming, let’s not have a godson anymore,” Xie Yazhi murmured. “We didn’t even raise our own sons properly. Why raise a godson?”
“What do I need so many sons for?”
“Why should I raise someone else’s son?”
Jiang Liming shook his head. “Since you acknowledged him, then you acknowledged him. Why are you changing back and forth? Are you going to find someone to explain everything all over again?”
“Let him move out. After all these years, I, Xie Yazhi, may have wronged other children, but I have never wronged him.”
“You all told me to keep one and put down the other. But when I see him, I always think of the other one. When I think of how I treated him for all these years, I think of what kind of life my biological son lived all these years.”
“The more I think about it, the worse I feel.”
Jiang Liming said, “You didn’t want to think about it before. What use is it saying this now?”
“I’m not a good mother. Before, I thought I could make it up to him. I thought I could give him many, many things.”
“I clearly prepared so much for him. I prepared work for him and planned to let him and his wife stay in the city. I thought he would be satisfied.”
“But he doesn’t want anything.”
Jiang Yantang stayed alone in the Jiang home. Today, when Jiang Liming and his wife left, they had not called him along. The atmosphere in this house was becoming more and more suffocating.
In the past, Xie Yazhi had always carefully and gently cared about everything concerning him. Now, however, she often stared at him blankly.
Jiang Yantang knew who she was thinking about.
Whenever she saw him, the person she thought of was Xie Mingtu—her true youngest son, born on a cold winter day and secretly carried away.
That youngest son had been beautiful and eye-catching from a young age, fair and tender. When the people of Qiaoxin Village saw him, they all said he was a little lucky child, like the child attendant sitting before Guanyin. Many people suspected he was not a child of the Xie family.
…
After growing up, he became plain-looking, slovenly, down and out, thin as a skeleton, and had suffered all kinds of harsh treatment from his adoptive mother.
“What is Qiaoxin Village like?”
“How many people are in Su Xiaoman’s family? How do they treat him?”
“Is their relationship good?”
“What does he like to eat?”
…
She began subtly asking him about “him.”
In the past, Jiang Yantang had never been treated like this. He was the one people asked about. Now, everything had changed.
Perhaps people were always this cheap: only after losing something did they know to cherish it, while refusing to treasure what was right in front of them.
During these days in the Jiang family, Jiang Yantang became increasingly anxious. He saw Xie Yazhi’s change toward him clearly. He knew things could not continue like this.
He was that woman’s son. With a mother like that, who had done those things, anything he said in front of Xie Yazhi now was wrong.
Although everyone knew he was now the Jiang family’s godson, a godson was ultimately not a biological son. In the past, when he was in the compound, there had always been many people coming to flatter and praise him. Those people were best at following the wind, yet this year, there were fewer of them.
Or rather, there were none at all.
They did not dare mention him in front of Xie Yazhi. Every time they did, the smile on Xie Yazhi’s face became extremely forced, so most people did not dare touch that sore spot.
“That boy from the Sun family this year…”
“…Your family’s?”
…
It was also at this moment that Jiang Yantang discovered he might not actually be that outstanding. Those praises he had once heard so often that his ears grew calloused were not largely because of his own excellence, but because of the Jiang family’s background.
Once he was stripped away from the Jiang family’s status and lost Xie Yazhi’s favour, all those annoying voices abruptly stopped.
There was less praise simply because he was no longer a true child of the Jiang family. He was no longer the once-proud son of heaven.
People more outstanding than him appeared one after another…
Only now did Jiang Yantang realise: it was not that the Jiang family could not lose him.
It was that he could not lose the Jiang family.
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