Wild Stars as Their Lamps
Chi Yan: “…”
Sometimes, he really wanted to know what exactly He Jitong’s brain was made of.
Chi Yan could not be bothered to explain the whole story. He only asked, “Is our studio about to go bankrupt? Why are you this free?”
He Jitong defended himself. “Who said I’m free? I’m stealing a little leisure from my busy schedule.”
Chi Yan gave a cold “heh,” then looked at the golden retriever tied beside He Jitong’s feet. He lifted his eyelids. “You got a dog?”
At this, He Jitong’s expression instantly became somewhat unnatural. No longer dwelling on why they were here, he said vaguely, “…It’s the bookstore owner’s dog. I’m helping look after it.”
“And you still say you’re not free. You even have time to look after someone else’s dog.”
Chi Yan did not look at him again. He reached out and pushed open the iron gate beside the bookstore, heading straight toward the dark stairwell inside.
At the same time, he said to Gu Jianian, “Keep up.”
Gu Jianian nodded and quickly followed him through the iron gate, not forgetting to turn back and politely greet He Jitong.
He Jitong narrowed his eyes and gave her a bright, sparkling smile, then lay back down and covered his face with the book again.
The stairwell had been renovated, and there was still a sharp smell of paint.
Chi Yan led her to the second floor, turned left, and pushed open a glass door.
Gu Jianian paused and saw a small acrylic sign by the door. On it were the words ‘Four Seasons Literature Studio’.
He Jitong had mentioned before that he and Chi Yan had opened a studio together. It should be this place.
The two pushed the door open. The motion-sensor doorbell at the entrance rang with a “ding-dong.”
Gu Jianian looked around. The studio was quite spacious, decorated in a rough industrial style, with cement walls, black industrial lamps, and a ceiling without suspended panels, where white pipes crisscrossed overhead.
On both sides of the long corridor were several office rooms, all fitted with frosted glass partitions.
On the door to the left were the words ‘Editorial Department’. Through the glass, four or five staff members could vaguely be seen working at their computers with their heads lowered.
On the right was the pantry.
Just as Gu Jianian turned her eyes that way, a girl in a pink top happened to hurry out from inside with a cup of coffee, saying, “Coming, coming!”
Gu Jianian lowered her eyes and glanced at the cartoon name tag on her chest. It read: ‘Editorial Assistant: Qiao Wei’.
Qiao Wei’s gaze landed on Chi Yan. She froze for a moment, then cried out in surprise, “…Boss?”
“Why are you here today?”
Qiao Wei was stunned for a long while, thinking to herself that it was a good thing she happened to be the one in charge of reception today.
Many of the newer employees only knew that their studio had two bosses, but they had never seen Chi Yan.
She had only met him once, on the day the studio was founded.
But being able to recognise him at a glance after a year really did come down to his face.
She had heard that the two bosses were cousins. With family genes like this, it would be hard not to remember them.
Chi Yan, however, clearly had no impression of her. He instinctively glanced at her name tag, then said politely, “Mm. I came today for something.”
Then he asked her, “Is anyone in He Jitong’s lounge or reception room? I’m going to rest for a while.”
“There shouldn’t be anyone. Boss just went downstairs.”
As Qiao Wei spoke, she went to the front desk to find the spare key and handed it to him, then looked at Gu Jianian.
Gu Jianian was still hesitating over how she should introduce herself when someone tugged her elbow.
“Let’s go. I’m so sleepy.”
Chi Yan lazily pulled her through the Editorial Department, Finance Department, and Marketing Department, then turned a corner at the innermost section and went up another staircase.
Qiao Wei clicked her tongue as she looked at their backs. A moment later, she turned around and saw several colourful heads popping out from different cubicles, whispering all at once.
“Damn, a handsome guy?”
“Who is that? Boss’s new client?”
“He even brought a girl? Where’s our boss?”
Qiao Wei smiled. “What client? That’s our elusive second boss, the one whose head and tail are never seen.”
“Whoa, that’s the second boss?”
“No wonder he’s so handsome. I heard he and Boss are cousins. They do kind of look alike.”
Qiao Wei spread her hands in exasperation. “Yeah. Unfortunately, one of them is downstairs helping someone look after a dog, and the other hasn’t come to the studio in eight hundred years. The moment he does, he brings a girl.”
Gu Jianian did not hear these discussions.
Her arm was being pulled by him, and she followed closely behind as he went up the stairs.
There was another closed door upstairs.
Chi Yan silently opened the door with the key, only then letting go of her.
Gu Jianian raised her eyes. Chi Yan’s brows and eyes were lowered, his expression rather tired. As he opened the door, he lazily yawned.
She could not help it and also gave a deep yawn, which happened to be seen by him when he turned his head.
Chi Yan caught sight of her little face scrunched up with sleepiness and asked in amusement, “The coffee’s worn off?”
“Mm. So sleepy.”
Gu Jianian vaguely rubbed her eyes. Earlier, on the road, she had still been able to force herself to stay energetic. Now that they were about to reach a resting place, her mind relaxed, and she suddenly felt unbearably sleepy.
She practically wanted to find a spot by the door and lie down directly.
Seeing her eyelids fighting each other and her sleepy eyes, Chi Yan felt a little amused. He pushed open the door and led her into the reception room.
Then he pushed open the door to the lounge inside and said, “This is He Jitong’s lounge, but he has another place to stay and never sleeps here. Rest without worrying. If anything happens, call me. I’ll sleep on the sofa bed in the reception room.”
He lowered his voice. “Rest properly. Tonight, I’ll drive you back to Yunmo.”
Everything was arranged very properly.
Gu Jianian listened obediently and gave a soft “mm” with a heavy nasal tone, fumbling to press the light switch in the lounge.
She raised her eyes and looked inside.
The lounge was not large. On the simple European-style double bed, there was currently a snow-white quilt.
The next second, perhaps because it sensed the light, or perhaps because it heard movement, a thin and pale arm suddenly stretched out from under the quilt. The red nails on the long, slender fingers were especially striking.
As the quilt shifted, a mess of long brown hair slowly appeared at the edge.
A woman’s voice, newly woken from long sleep, was lingering and hoarse, her tone almost soul-hooking.
“He Jitong, what time is it? Did you bring me food?”
Chi Yan: “…”
Gu Jianian: “…”
With a “pa,” Chi Yan shut the door.
His brow twitched.
His gaze slowly drifted to Gu Jianian’s face.
Gu Jianian’s eyes were wide open, the intense sleepiness from moments ago gone without a trace. Stiffly, she turned her head and met Chi Yan’s gaze.
Then, in his dark eyes, she saw faint sympathy and the returning sweep of compassionate tolerance.
Gu Jianian: “…”
Before she had the chance to speak, hurried footsteps suddenly came from the stairs.
He Jitong ran up in one breath, bent over with both hands on his knees, panting violently. Yet his eyes were fixed on the lounge door.
“I almost forgot there was someone inside… You two didn’t… open the door, right?”
Chi Yan’s brows quietly twisted together, and like a slow-motion scene, he rolled his eyes.
“Find us somewhere to sleep. Now. Immediately.”
He could not even be bothered to comment on He Jitong’s private life.
From his tone, He Jitong knew that they had already opened the door and seen the situation.
“…”
For once, he did not explain, nor did he run his mouth and act cheap. He only said, “Then I’ll take you to my place? It’s not far, and you’ll be able to stay more comfortably.”
Chi Yan said nothing else and followed him downstairs. Halfway down, he suddenly turned back to glance at Gu Jianian and even reached out a hand to her.
That look seemed to ask: *Do you need me to help you?*
“…”
Gu Jianian opened her mouth, but in the end, not a single word came out. She walked straight past him with her back ramrod straight.
What even was all this?
A long while later, Chi Yan finally withdrew his empty hand.
Then he stared at her straightened back, lowered his eyelids, and followed.
By the time they had been tossed around again and arrived at He Jitong’s place, Gu Jianian felt that her upper and lower eyelids were fighting each other.
Her body was forcing itself to keep walking, but her soul seemed to have already entered the world of sleep. Dazedly, she listened to He Jitong introducing the guest room, bathroom, and toilet.
Like a puppet, she followed his instructions into the guest room, took off her shoes, lay down on the bed, and fell asleep as soon as her head touched it.
After running around for a day and a night, her nerves had been tense the entire way. Now they finally could not hold on anymore, and she fell asleep in an instant.
She could not even care that it was a new environment, that the bed and scent around her were unfamiliar.
She had not even taken off her coat.
Chi Yan stood by the door, speaking quietly with He Jitong. When he turned back, he realised Gu Jianian had already fallen asleep.
Probably because she had not taken off her coat, she did not sleep very peacefully. Her brows were faintly furrowed, and her breathing was not exactly steady.
Her little face was drooping, as if she was not having a good dream.
She was so sleepy she had not even covered herself with the quilt, nor had she used the pillow. Yet her sleeping posture was extremely proper.
Her legs lay obediently flat, and her arms rested at both sides of her body, as if she were sensible and well-behaved by instinct.
Chi Yan thought of the scene he and Gu Jianian had just seen together.
And of the thin back she had deliberately straightened after brushing past him in the corridor.
His gaze touched her furrowed brows again.
Suddenly, he felt a little irritated.
This kid had only just managed to become a little happier.
Chi Yan quietly walked in and covered her with the quilt. Before leaving, he hesitated for a while, then lifted the back of her neck and slipped a pillow underneath.
The person on the bed felt the soft touch and adjusted with great adaptability, turning her fair neck slightly to find the most comfortable angle.
Her brows loosened a little. Her pale lips slowly straightened, and her breathing gradually became steady.
Only the warm, soft strands of hair at the nape of her neck brushed lightly across his palm with her movement.
Like being tickled.
Chi Yan immediately pulled his hand away, shifted his gaze so he would not look at her again, then turned and closed the door behind him.
The culprit was sitting in the living room smoking.
He did not seem to be in a very good mood.
Chi Yan lowered his eyes and looked at him for a while. He walked over, took the lit cigarette from his hand, and pressed it out in the ashtray, saying impatiently, “If you want to smoke, go outside. It stinks.”
He Jitong did not get angry. Instead, he smiled faintly, stared at him for a long while, then looked toward the tightly closed guest room door.
After a long time, he said, “…Why do I feel like you’re becoming more and more like a person now?”
Chi Yan tugged at the corner of his mouth and sat down beside him.
The large leather sofa immediately sank under him.
He closed his eyes and yawned, then slowly said, “Then I’m exactly the opposite.”
“What?”
“I think you’re becoming less and less like a person.”
“More like a scumbag.”
He Jitong: “…”
He had no idea what Chi Yan was unhappy about this time.
He could not be bothered to explain today’s matter. After sitting around bored for a while, he simply grabbed his car keys and stood up. “I’m leaving.”
Chi Yan originally wanted to tell him to leave the car keys behind and take the subway.
But seeing the unusual gloom on his face, he swallowed the words back and nodded perfunctorily. “Get lost. Have someone drive my car back tonight.”
“Mm.”
The front door closed, and the room fell into silence.
He Jitong’s home did not have the habit of closing curtains, so the afternoon sunlight shone glaringly into the living room.
Chi Yan sat on the sofa for a while, raised his hand, and pinched the space between his brows. In the end, he still could not help getting up to draw all the curtains shut.
The room returned to familiar darkness and quiet.
He dragged his steps back to the sofa and lay down, casually pulling a blanket over himself.
He took out his phone and turned it on.
Several text messages popped up.
**A-Yan, help Dad one more time.**
**The last time. I absolutely won’t disturb you again after this.**
Expressionlessly, he added that number to the blacklist, then set his phone to silent and placed it on the coffee table.
He lay facing upward, looking at the pitch-black ceiling.
Sleep vanished once more, just like so many days and nights before.
Becoming more and more like a person?
Why did he not feel that way?
Gu Jianian slept so deeply that she lost all sense of time.
When she finally woke up, the room was already dark.
Outside the window was Zhoushan’s damp night.
Drizzling rain clung to the outside of the glass, like flowing graffiti.
Gu Jianian touched the unfamiliar quilt covering her body and smelled the unfamiliar scent in the room. Her mind slowly turned several times before she remembered that she was currently at He Jitong’s house.
Everything that had happened over the past two days played through her mind at high speed like a film.
Her birthday, blowing out candles, the slap from her father.
She ran wildly across the mountains and fields. In Chi Yan’s garden, she asked him for a cigarette.
He said happy birthday to her, then took her on the first night bus at dawn, crossing mountains and ridges to reach Zhoushan, taking her to see Zhoushan University’s library.
They had also eaten with his roommate.
She learned that he was allergic to seafood, very good at fighting, and had won the Muhua Award.
Gu Jianian suddenly rolled over, grabbed the pillow, and covered her face with it. Her eyes curved little by little.
Everything from these two days was like an absurd, strange, rebellious dream.
An unexpected, sudden journey.
In her memory, she had rarely travelled, and she had rarely gone to unfamiliar cities.
All her holidays had been filled with tutoring and homework. She did not even have time to return to Yunmo, let alone travel.
The only time her parents had taken her on a trip when she was little was to a city not far from Beilin.
That day, her father happened to be on a business trip, and the company had given him a resort voucher.
So he took the family to a resort in the neighbouring city and stayed there for two days and one night.
Gu Jianian still remembered how excited she had been on the first day. For the entire afternoon, she played for a long time with another child who had come to travel, on the beach beside the resort. They built sandcastles and picked up shells and conches.
But after she played until she was exhausted and returned to the room, her mother pushed a notebook toward her and told her to write a travel essay.
“It’s not easy to come out for once. What good essay material. We can’t waste it.”
Gu Jianian tiredly picked up her pen and wrote again and again. Her mother read it again and again, but no matter what, she was never satisfied.
“Didn’t you like reading since you were little? Did all those books go into a dog’s stomach? Why is there no theme at all? Rewrite it!”
Gu Jianian could only erase and rewrite once more.
The original, simple and real journey became completely distorted after she revised and rewrote it over and over.
In the end, she lied and wrote that during the trip, she had met an old grandmother who accidentally fell, and together with her little friend, she helped the grandmother back home.
At the end, she added a forced elevated conclusion, saying that through this trip, she had learned to take joy in helping others and to treat people kindly.
Only then was her mother finally satisfied.
The second day, and the third day, were the same.
Gu Jianian told countless lies in that notebook before she finally received her mother’s approval.
From then on, Gu Jianian never looked forward to travelling again.
Even when her parents occasionally showed mercy and said they would take her hiking or to see the sea during holidays, she always used studying and homework as excuses to avoid it.
So she had never known the meaning of travel.
Other than being material for essays.
But this short journey, if it could be called a journey, suddenly made her understand the meaning of travel.
To spend a period of time going to an unfamiliar place.
Together with someone she liked.
To see with her own eyes the worlds that only existed in books, to see lives different from her own, to feel time, culture, and belief.
To feel the heartbeat that could not be experienced in all those numb, step-by-step days.
Then to know herself again.
To understand what she wanted, and what she did not want.
Gu Jianian suddenly felt an uncontrollable throb. A vague thought was on the verge of emerging.
Her eyes grew hot because of it.
Her heartbeat grew more and more intense. From the initial struggle and uncertainty, it slowly transformed into firmness.
A firmness that could not be ignored.
She climbed out of bed swiftly and pushed open the door to look for a certain figure.
Then, without any effort at all, she saw Chi Yan sitting on the sofa in the living room.
He sat quietly in the darkness, neither sleeping nor playing with his phone.
Silent like a sculpture.
Perhaps because he heard the sound of her pushing the door open, he raised his head and pressed the switch on the wall behind the sofa.
The living room suddenly lit up.
“You’re awake…?”
His gaze met Gu Jianian’s red eyes.
The little girl stood at the guest room door, holding a pillow, looking at him with tear-filled eyes.
As if after waking from sleep, she had recalled everything and was still overwhelmed with sadness.
Chi Yan suddenly raised his hand and pressed his brow. He did not get up, only leaned quietly against the back of the sofa and looked at her.
After two days and one night without sleep, his thoughts were so chaotic he had lost his politeness and self-control.
He slowly lifted one corner of his mouth, his tone carrying unconcealed mockery and sharpness.
“You like him that much?”
But Gu Jianian did not notice what he was asking.
Barefoot, she walked step by step to his side and bent down to meet his eyes.
“Chi Yan.”
Her eyes were hot, and her fingers unconsciously reached out, tentatively catching hold of his sleeve.
“Tell me, would it be good if I repeated the year?”
“Study humanities, change schools, and start over again.”
“I suddenly don’t seem so afraid anymore.”
Because you are here.
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