Wild Stars as Their Lamps
The other side was silent for a few seconds.
Gu Jianian’s heart was about to jump into her throat. She patiently waited through one breath, then asked, “Do I… do I still have a chance?”
A soft laugh came from the other end of the phone, as if the woman had been amused by her words.
“Mm, you have a chance. Student Gu Jianian, come report at eight o’clock in the morning on September 1st. Class Ten, Grade Twelve. It’s still Teacher Zhou’s class. However—”
Compared to the previous call, the female teacher’s voice was much more relaxed. There was less of that cold, business-like tone, and a little more warmth in her smile.
“—three years ago, what we promised you was the humanities experimental class. This time, it can only be an ordinary class. Will you come?”
Gu Jianian’s brain crashed for several seconds.
Did this mean No. 9 High School had agreed to let her repeat the year?
The second hand moved with a faint rustling sound.
Gu Jianian’s empty gaze lingered for a moment on the book resting on the sofa armrest.
The warm yellow reading lamp fell over the blue cover.
Gu Jianian finally came back to herself and quickly said, “I’ll come, I’ll come, I’ll definitely come!”
The next second, her gaze subconsciously moved upward.
Within her line of sight, Chi Yan lowered his eyes and lazily curved his mouth into a smile.
Then he picked up the laptop and began looking at it on his own, no longer bothering to listen to the rest.
Gu Jianian’s gaze drifted unconsciously over his face, but her thoughts were still on the phone call.
As if afraid the other side would change their mind, she added, “…Um, do I need to prepare anything?”
“Mm, there are many things you need to prepare.”
“The teachers in our grade group just contacted Lin High School and pulled up your politics, history, and geography grades from Grade Ten. Your humanities foundation is all right. Directly joining Grade Twelve is a little risky, but it isn’t as if there haven’t been successful cases in previous years.”
“I’ll send you the Grade Eleven politics, history, and geography syllabus in a while. Go buy the textbooks and look through them yourself first. Although Grade Twelve revision will start from the beginning, you are still missing a year of classes. If you don’t want to be unable to keep up as soon as school starts, work hard these next few days and study as much as you can.”
Gu Jianian repeatedly agreed.
The female teacher continued, “There are also a few students in your class who transferred from science to humanities after finishing Grade Eleven and are going straight into Grade Twelve. Their situation is quite similar to yours. After school starts, the homeroom teacher will arrange extra evening self-study lessons for you. This part of the fee is included in the repeat-year payment list, which I’ll also send you later.”
After explaining everything point by point, the female teacher’s tone suddenly changed, and she teased, “This time, your parents won’t go back on it again, will they? Once this chance is gone, there won’t be another.”
Gu Jianian said decisively, “They won’t.”
She did not explain.
If her parents did not agree, she would be her own guardian.
As for tuition, No. 9 High School was a public high school. A year of tuition would not be too much.
At worst, she could work part-time during her free time. She would always manage to endure it.
Gu Jianian remembered the summer holiday after ninth grade.
Before her parents secretly went to pay Lin High School’s school-choice fee for her, she had ridden her bicycle through the wind to No. 9 High School.
She remembered that in front of No. 9 High School, there was a west-to-east bend in the road. The slope was too steep to cycle up, so she had to get off and push her bike.
On both sides of that bend, there were several busy bookstores.
Perhaps she could report it to the teachers and work part-time at one of the bookstores during her free time.
After all, she was already an adult.
Time was like a golden wheat field, disturbed by autumn wind for three years.
Now, at last, it had returned to the right track.
“Good. Then I’ll see you when school starts. By the way, No. 9 High School’s rules also clearly state that smoking on campus is absolutely not allowed.”
“I won’t smoke. I definitely won’t!”
Gu Jianian swore earnestly, but the other side had already hung up.
She stared blankly, listening to the busy tone from the phone. She even forgot to put the phone down, lowering her head and murmuring to Chi Yan, “They said they’ll take me.”
Chi Yan raised his head and said with an ordinary expression, “Mm, I know.”
The air was silent for a moment.
Then the little girl’s belated cry of surprise rang beside his ears.
Soft, yet piercing.
It was as if some switch had been turned on. She began hurriedly packing her things, rambling as she did so. “Do you think they won’t go back on it? When school starts, I must personally go thank that female teacher. She listened to me say so much and was still willing to accept me. She must be an extremely kind person… I have to go back and tell Grandma. I also need to call my parents and inform them. Mm, inform them, not discuss it with them…”
“…I need to buy books, revise, and there’s only a little over a week before school starts.”
As she spoke, the corners of her mouth lifted high, her brows and eyes flew upward, and her eyes were filled with surprise and joy, as if specks of starlight had been scattered over a lake.
Her undisguised emotions were so bright they seemed to want the whole world to know.
Even though she had just come of age, deep down, she was still a child.
Chi Yan could not help relaxing his brows and eyes along with her. He felt the air flowing faster than usual.
Even breathing became smoother.
Gu Jianian bustled around, happily packing her things. After a long while, she suddenly stopped everything she was doing.
As if dazed, she looked toward him.
Chi Yan felt somewhat strange under her gaze and raised his brows. “What are you looking at?”
“Chi Yan—”
The little girl called his name. The brightness in her brows and eyes straightened, and her pretty face carried a rare seriousness.
The next second, she said,
“Thank you.”
“Thank me for what?”
Gu Jianian was concise, unable to express all the feelings in her heart. “Just… everything.”
All of it. Everything.
“Oh, you should thank me.” Chi Yan accepted it without the slightest politeness, his temper good as he said, “Don’t forget you still owe me a meal.”
Gu Jianian nodded hard. “Mm, I haven’t forgotten.”
As if compelled by ghosts and spirits, she stretched the timeline longer and said, “When we have time in the future, if you go to Beilin or I come back to Yunmo, I’ll treat you to a meal.”
Over the next week or so, in the days before Gu Jianian left, summer rapidly came to an end.
By the last few days of August, the temperature had clearly dropped.
The grape leaves and osmanthus leaves by the door were often blown by the wind until they rustled loudly.
Second Uncle drove the repaired pickup truck to town to buy Gu Jianian the Grade Eleven textbooks.
Fortunately, Yunmo and Beilin both used the People’s Education Press editions, which saved quite a bit of trouble.
Gu Jianian began going to the ivy-covered villa to study every day.
In her heart, she knew very clearly that since she was not reading for leisure and had bought textbooks, there was no real need for her to go to Chi Yan’s house.
But she pretended it was because she had developed a habit of walking straight and had forgotten to turn, so she still reported to his house every morning without fail.
With practised ease, she sat in her “exclusive” single armchair, spread her textbooks and notebooks over the low table, and studied for the whole morning.
Fortunately, Chi Yan did not ask her about it.
It was as if he had gotten used to it too.
These days, he got up very early. He said that since he had decided on the opening of his new book, he had started writing step by step.
What surprised Gu Jianian was that he really did use the sixth version opening.
When Chi Yan first asked her to help choose the opening, she had thought at most he would use her opinion as a small reference.
She had not expected that in the end, he would really adopt her suggestion.
While Gu Jianian felt flattered, she was also worried he had been too hasty.
So she indirectly asked several times, and finally got the answer: “It just so happens that the one you chose is the same one I liked.”
“Oh.”
Gu Jianian raised the corners of her mouth.
On one hand, she felt this was fate. On the other hand, she felt that perhaps her level was not too bad after all.
The two of them returned to their previous life of not disturbing each other. Gu Jianian followed the syllabus the teacher had given her and studied step by step. Occasionally, she also asked Chi Yan to guide her. After all, having someone who had ranked second in the whole city in the humanities gaokao and not using him would be a terrible waste.
Because Chi Yan had changed his schedule, the time they spent alone together every day became much longer.
Gu Jianian was extremely grateful.
Her days in Yunmo were fewer with each passing day.
The time she had with him even more so.
After the matter of repeating the year was settled, certain feelings of reluctance and panic began to spread.
When would they meet next?
And in what identity?
Gu Jianian thought of that day when Chi Yan had told her not to forget to treat him to a meal.
She had stretched the timeline on her own, wanting to leave herself a chance to see him again.
But that sentence had seemed like a joke. No one had truly settled where their next meeting would be.
He had not said he would go to Beilin, and she was not sure when she would return to Yunmo.
Between Beilin and Yunmo, even taking the high-speed train and then the long-distance bus, rushing as much as possible still took seven hours.
No matter how panicked or reluctant she felt, time would not slow down.
The day before Gu Jianian left arrived.
The summer wind rolled through the emerald rice fields. The Grade Eleven textbooks had all been lightly flipped through by her once.
Gu Jianian dragged out the suitcase Second Uncle had helped put into the storage room two months ago and carefully packed her luggage.
The luggage for the return trip contained many more things than when she came.
There were three dresses Grandma had made with her own hands, pickled vegetables from her aunt, and a bundle of shoe insoles Auntie Zhang had stuffed into her hands.
There were also various local specialities sent by the neighbours.
Gu Jianian efficiently checked all her documents, then confirmed the high-speed rail ticket she had booked on her phone.
Then, with Grandma accompanying her, she dialled the phone at home in Beilin.
Since her birthday, they had not sent any messages again.
Perhaps out of sight, out of mind, they had temporarily set her aside like a broken jar. Or perhaps they were waiting for her to apologise.
The moment the call connected, Gu Jianian knew it was the latter.
Her father’s tone was extremely arrogant and cold. He asked her, “You know you were wrong? School starts the day after tomorrow. Come with me to Lin High School to apologise, and maybe—”
“I’ve booked a high-speed rail ticket for tomorrow night. I’ll arrive in Beilin in the early hours of September 1st, then go directly to No. 9 High School to report.”
She interrupted her father and dryly explained the main point: she was going to repeat the year at No. 9 High School, study humanities, and live on campus.
As for tuition and living expenses, she would not need to work outside school after all. Grandma had said that if her parents did not agree, she would pay the money.
Last night, the old lady had mysteriously called Gu Jianian into her room and shown her her bankbook.
“There’s no need to spend money in Yunmo. These years, I’ve sold rice, vegetables, fruit, and poultry. Every month, there’s also the pension from the village government.”
Grandma wore reading glasses and showed her the number in the bankbook, smiling broadly. “Look, there’s plenty.”
Gu Jianian finished speaking in one breath and did not continue listening to the response on the other end. Instead, she handed the receiver to Grandma.
Then she walked out of the courtyard.
It had nothing to do with courage. She simply did not want to apologise to them, and she no longer cared much about their attitude.
Grandma’s voice inside the house grew distant.
Gu Jianian walked upward along the mountain road.
The setting sun rose and sank, gilding the distant mountains with a layer of pale gold, waiting for the quiet good night to arrive.
The bustle of evening had just passed. Along the road, the roses and hibiscus had already withered, leaving only bare green leaves.
The wind rustled through all the vegetation on the hillside. Different shapes made different sounds.
Gu Jianian carefully distinguished them, committing the sound of every flower and blade of grass to memory.
Memories of Yunmo.
Filled with the hottest scent of this summer.
Gu Jianian raised her head and looked. The villa halfway up the mountain was hidden behind flowers.
Like an old castle in the woods.
During the time they had spent alone these days, a certain voice in the depths of her heart had screamed countless times, wanting to burst out.
Tell him.
Do not bury it in your heart like this.
But even on the last day, she still did not have the courage.
She was afraid that if she buried it in her heart like this, she would have regrets in the future.
But she was even more afraid that once she said it out loud, she would not even have the chance to treat him to the next meal.
Gu Jianian hesitated, unable to make a decision. She felt that this matter was even harder than calling the No. 9 High School teacher and her parents.
She shook her head, driving out the voices in her mind that stood on two sides and argued with each other.
Then she would go say goodbye.
Properly say goodbye to him.
When she reached the courtyard outside the ivy-covered villa, her phone happened to ring.
Gu Jianian turned on the screen and saw that it was a WeChat call from He Jitong.
Somewhat surprised, she answered. “Hello, Brother Jitong?”
There was noisy background sound on He Jitong’s side, like the dance music in a bar. He pushed open some door and walked out, his voice still unserious as he got straight to the point.
“Sister Jianian, I heard from Chi Yan that you’re leaving tomorrow? Going back to Beilin to study?”
“Mm. My high-speed rail ticket is tomorrow night. I have to set off from Yunmo in the morning and go to the county’s high-speed rail station.”
“Oh. Did you ask Chi Yan to drive you? His car was brought back to Yunmo last time anyway.”
Gu Jianian silently shook her head. While pushing open the courtyard gate and walking in, she said, “No need. My second uncle will drive me to the high-speed rail station. No need to trouble him.”
“That’s good…” The other side was silent for a few seconds, then said again, “By the way, I left your gift with Chi Yan. Remember to go to his house and get it.”
Gu Jianian froze. “Gift? …What gift?”
He Jitong laughed. “Birthday gift. I bought it ages ago. That day, I couldn’t make time to attend your coming-of-age ceremony, and the next day when you came to Zhoushan, everything was rushed, so I forgot to give it to you.”
Hearing this, Gu Jianian felt rather embarrassed. “…There’s even a gift? I thought the cake you asked Chi Yan to bring me that day already counted as the gift.”
Unexpectedly, He Jitong seemed completely unaware of this matter and reflexively asked, “What birthday cake?”
Gu Jianian found it strange and was just about to ask further when He Jitong suddenly told her to wait. Then he lowered his voice and spoke two sentences to someone on the other side.
When he came back, he had already changed the topic indifferently.
“Anyway, it’s not some expensive gift. No need to be polite with me. Happy adulthood. And,” he slowly said, “I should also thank you, Sister Jianian.”
Gu Jianian froze. “Thank me for what?”
“Chi Yan’s new book opening has been settled. Last night, he just finished the outline and sent it to us. This book had been tormenting him for six or seven months, and now it’s finally confirmed. Sister Jianian, you’ve made a great contribution.”
Gu Jianian blushed from his thanks and said softly, “No, no. Chi Yan said he had originally chosen that opening too. I just happened to pick the same one as him.”
“It’s not about choosing the opening,” He Jitong said slowly. “I wanted to thank you for helping him a lot during these days in Yunmo.”
Gu Jianian guiltily murmured, “I caused him a lot of trouble, right? He’s the one who… helped me a lot.”
Thinking about it this way, throughout this summer holiday, there were countless times she had troubled him.
Reading at his house, getting her toe pinched by a crab, forcing him to get up at five in the morning to go to the market, taking her overnight to Zhoushan, helping her revise.
Although his face always looked impatient,
he had always been taking care of her.
Hearing this, He Jitong changed the way he put it. “Sister Jianian, you never saw what my cousin was like in high school. He was even more arrogant than me. Relying on the fact that he had talent in studying, good looks, and a good family background, he was so wildly arrogant he practically wanted to ascend to the heavens.”
“Compared with this ghostly version of him now, they’re completely two different people.”
Gu Jianian did not explain that she had once seen what the sixteen- or seventeen-year-old Chi Yan he described was like on the forum.
She pressed the receiver closer to her ear and continued listening.
“But in Chi Yan’s sophomore year, his grandfather was hospitalised with cancer, and his family’s business was completely ruined by his gambler father—”
He Jitong summarised everything in just a few words, then suddenly paused.
When he spoke again, his voice was somewhat heavy.
“—I only found out later that his father had misappropriated all the family savings to pay off huge gambling debts. Chi Yan, someone who had grown up pampered and privileged, had to go to school while also earning his own tuition, living expenses, and the old man’s medical fees. I don’t know how he got through it.”
“As for what exactly happened during that time, even I don’t know.”
“By the time I went to attend his grandfather’s funeral, he had already become this ghostly version of himself. After his grandfather passed away, several books he had written before were noticed by film and television companies. The copyrights sold, and he also won awards around that time. He invested most of the money into my studio and became a partner, partly to thank my parents for helping with his grandfather’s medical fees before. It was from then on that the studio had funds and slowly grew bigger. Then he disappeared from the world.”
“He vanished for more than half a month. After coming back, he moved to Yunmo. From then on, he shut himself in and lived like a vampire.”
Gu Jianian’s breath stopped for a few moments.
She remembered Chi Yan saying that last summer, he had gone to the Greater Khingan Range alone.
It must have been then.
She tightened her grip on the phone and heard He Jitong sigh again. “That’s why I’m thanking you.”
“Even if, to him, you’re a trouble. With a trouble like you around, he had no choice but to pull himself together and deal with it. It was just right for him to start being human again.”
As he spoke, he teased, “Unfortunately, Sister Jianian, you’re leaving tomorrow. I don’t even know whether he’ll turn back into that ghostly version of himself again.”
At this point, someone happened to come talk to He Jitong on the other end of the phone. He said a few more words and hurriedly hung up.
His final sentence was clearly a joke.
But Gu Jianian stood there blankly, holding her phone, looking at the tightly closed door of the ivy-covered villa, and suddenly felt an unbearable sourness and panic in her heart.
The next second, the door suddenly opened from inside.
Chi Yan walked out, half of his pale face sunk in shadow, half soaked in light.
Holding the doorframe, he frowned and asked her, “Why aren’t you coming in? Are you on the phone?”
In the living room, he had vaguely heard her voice and thought it was an illusion.
The kid had already come by this morning.
And tomorrow morning, she would be leaving.
Yet even so, as if possessed, he still opened the door and came out.
He had not expected that she really would be here.
“Mm.” Gu Jianian stared at him and murmured, “It was Brother Jitong’s call.”
As soon as she said this, Chi Yan silently fell quiet for a while. His reply came somewhat drawled.
“—Oh, right. He left your gift with me.”
No wonder she had come over.
Gu Jianian casually gave an “mm” and subconsciously looked around.
It was the same desolate garden as when they had first met.
The rose branches still grew wildly, though the petals had already fallen all over the ground. The bright red dogwoods were covered by a mess of plants whose names she could not say. The cobblestone path at the entrance was piled with moss and dry twigs.
Every window of the villa was covered by thick curtains.
Stifling and closed off.
Her gaze moved to Chi Yan.
He wore dark loungewear, his eyelids lifted, expression impatient, standing lazily and carelessly at the door.
Just like before.
Yet for no reason, Gu Jianian felt a strong wave of panic.
He Jitong’s joking words echoed repeatedly in her ears.
*Unfortunately, you’re leaving tomorrow. I don’t even know whether he’ll turn back into that ghostly version of himself again.*
The vampire in the children’s mouths.
Gu Jianian suddenly stared at Chi Yan blankly and said, “Wait here for me.”
Then she turned around and ran.
Chi Yan froze for a moment. Before he could speak, he saw her figure dart away like a rabbit, quickly disappearing down the winding mountain road.
He gathered away all his emotions, bored and inexplicably obedient as he stood at the doorway, waiting for the evening wind to blow in.
Within a few minutes, the sunset sank little by little.
There was finally movement from the mountain road.
The little girl ran up from the residual warmth of the sunset.
She pushed open the gate.
In her hand, she was carrying a heavy hoe.
Chi Yan’s eyelid twitched.
He watched as she pressed her lips together and struggled to carry that hoe inside. Then, without any explanation, she began cutting the weeds in the courtyard.
Over these two months, this kid had clearly only learned the bare surface of farm work from her grandmother. At first glance, her posture looked somewhat right, but those two thin arms were completely unable to support long periods of labour.
Before long, she was panting.
Chi Yan could not help shuffling out in his slippers. Once again, he reached out and hooked her hood, asking in amusement, “What madness are you suddenly having? Does my garden offend your eyes?”
“Mm. It does offend my eyes a little.”
“Didn’t you previously tell He Jitong that it had quite an atmosphere? Why change your mind all of a sudden?”
“Mm. I changed my mind.”
Gu Jianian lowered her brows and eyes, looking at him stubbornly.
It was clearly a somewhat offensive tone.
But the next second, he nodded indifferently, magnanimous and tolerant. “Fine. Since you’re leaving tomorrow, I won’t argue with you, fickle little kid.”
As he spoke, good-temperedly, he took the hoe from her hands.
Helping her finish the remaining work.
In the thin dusk, neither of them spoke.
They simply lowered their heads and worked.
By the time they had cleared the entire garden, the sunset had completely fallen.
The two of them sat on the stone steps at the entrance, too tired to speak.
All the weeds had been dug up by the roots and, together with the dry branches, were neatly piled in the open space outside the courtyard.
Uncle Liu had just returned from farming and passed by here, telling Chi Yan to leave them for his family to burn in the stove.
The garden finally revealed its original appearance.
Roses, hibiscus, fiery red dogwoods…
There was even a small cluster of Chinese roses that had once been buried deep inside, lush and neatly blooming.
The cobblestone path had also become clean.
Chi Yan threw the hoe aside, stood up, and patted the dust from his hands. Then he went inside and found the gift He Jitong had left behind, tossing it to her.
Gu Jianian accepted the gift, absent-mindedly placing it on her knees, and lowered her head to look at the stone path before her.
Chi Yan sat back down and asked her, “Not opening it to see?”
Gu Jianian silently shook her head.
He was somewhat unaccustomed to her silence. After a long while, he asked with a half-smile, “Was it He Jitong who told you to do this over the phone just now? You listen to him quite well. He really does hate the sight of my garden.”
Gu Jianian still did not make a sound.
Chi Yan turned his head and stared at her.
Moonlight and evening wind mingled.
Her face was so fair it was almost transparent. On that face, which had always been rich with emotion, there was rarely much expression.
Her mood seemed truly terrible.
Chi Yan’s brow twitched.
Then, uncontrollably, he sighed.
He lifted the corner of his mouth and slowly said something against his heart. “It’s not like there won’t be chances to meet again. Our studio has business in Beilin too. He Jitong occasionally goes there for work trips. You can find him for a meal.”
“When you go to university in the future, you’ll slowly forget. It’s not a big deal.”
His long fingers pressed against the stone step silently curled in.
But just as his words fell, the child who had been silent all evening suddenly raised her head. Her gaze trembled as she looked at him, and she gritted her teeth.
As if she had gathered all the courage of her life.
“It’s not He Jitong.”
She said it word by word, then repeated it again, even adding a solemn “never.”
“It has never been He Jitong.”
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